Breathe, we can share our breath here

You've got to say, honey,

You've got to say something
I've got an itch in my bones.
when you look at me
those brown eyes and all,

sad brown eyes,
soft, soft lips, oh love,
when you kiss like that
it doesn't seem fair
for you to expect me to breath
 

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

this made my heart flutter.

it's got a sort of half humorous classical romanticism to it. like it doesn't quite take it's seriousness seriously. y'know?

it's the great surrender of deep and utter surrender to a person through love. basic life support systems shut down. :)

the end is absolutely perfect, a nice little twist.

[Doug]

This is a nice, sweet short piece. I like short pieces so of course I was drawn to it. I did see a couple of things though.

I've got an itch in my bones

That line was a little cliche. For me, it stuck out in the poem. I think you could get the same message across with another line. The other thing I saw was "breath" at the end should be "breathe". Just a misspelling. It's nothing serious but I thought I'd tell you.