Do You Comprehend

The sinking feeling isn't as bad as it was before

I can still almost breathe easily when I see your photographed face

When the last painful memory was of you closing the door

I don't have to

"Find A Happy Place"

 

It's all in the past

You're gone and I doubt you're ever coming back

YOU'RE in the past

I've busied myself with memories to unstack

[[somehow a few got stuck in one of the cracks...but that's just one of life's many facts]]

 

It seems that this thought has given birth

To the attempt of choking my pen

Milking its ink for all it's worth

Blocking my ability to write my hate for most men

 

[men like you,

and what it is you persistantly do]

 

[men like you,

the ones that believe they've got the world at the end of their

- shiny

- brand new

- cue]

 

Love isn't a nice little white pool ball

That you can so drunkenly smack around

It was never created for your incoherent call

Let alone the moment you THOUGHT it to be found

 

My heart doesn't carry that irregular tune

As I skim through pictures of our later days

I can see it now, as you whitewash your way into the room

You've plastered yourself behind too many controdicted,

"I wish she'd stay" s

 

Your wishes, and your

"Dreams"

- as you used to call me -

Carry the last of what each word means

Through your silent and yet distorted plea

 

I can visualize you grasping hold of your flat shot of Captain

I can hear the """eeiiiighhhh""" sound you make as you flush it down

As you swing the musky glass from your mouth - letting inibriation kick in

I can see that pointless grin is another version of your newly found frown

 

I can close my eyes

And the black will turn to see the room full of smoke

Reincarnating your not so inevitable lies

And your attempts to muffle each choke

 

Our future relied on your ability to actually live

But your non shalant ways proved all hope wrong

The past and the present showed you had nothing to gain - or a family to give

I had to start looking past my wants and ahead to my needs, prolong

 

These words may cause you to shake your unwashed hair

Your mind may be dazzled from last night's alcoholic binge

But you know as well as I, that you could never really be "there"

Your last chance at saving this has left your ability to infringe

Author's Note

I'm sick of living in the past -

let this leave me some day....any day..

[ i know that won't happen....]

Reviews

[OceanTropic]

i LOVED this!!!!! i loved especially how you wrote that everything is in the past, that HE is in the past. Yes, and that is where he will stay.

I loved how you wrote about his drinking problem and his inability to be a normal boyfriend/husband. That his smiles were other ways of frowning and hiding his dispair and cowardness. Ugh, i LOVE it!!. I loved how it was written, it had a nice flow. The rhyming wasn't necessary cuz as I read it I didn't exactly have it rhyme in rhythm, I read it more like a story, so some words I found were extra.

[men like you,

the ones that believe they've got the world at the end of their

- shiny

- brand new

- cue]


I loved this. This was perfect. I really enjoyed this piece. Write more!!! This was great.

[[untitled]]

I can relate. The past seems to have anchors on us all. I keep waiting for mine to get wet and rust to dust. But I doubt that will happen till i'm ancient.

Another wonderfull relatable piece!

Great write!

Ashley

[Nik Dendera]

I like it.

I really like the reference to the cue ball. Its interesting.

Well written and has a very vivid feel to it. Great piece :)