Losing It

pretending that i'm ok is better than letting it show
because the questions that they want to know
remind me of the reasons for my pain
and their sympathy & fakeness are the same

watch me fault her
your living like a disaster
she said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over

our story will just be one big cliche;;
the one where my eyes met yours
&& you took my breath away..

 

where daylight breaks on you and shines into the
grey that sleeps beneath your skull
day light breaks on you and burns away the
grey that suffocates your soul

quiet and cold, silent and slow
night black as coal, miles here below

Can you see the sky turn red?
As morning's light breaks over me,
Know tonight we'll make our bed
at the bottom of the sea.

 

I'm still breathing
my lung's bleeding
I'm leaving now
do we always have to end like this?

I'm still breathing
air through collapsed lungs
through collapsed lungs

Time passed..

 

The pain and mem0riez faded

I went on with my life..

I saw other people

And forgot you existed

Reviews

[Ericka Ray]

Nice poem. Kind of...painfull? Idk. I liked it and I hope I get to read more. Keep it up ;)

[Michael X]

This is spot-on artfully powerful and pulls the reader into the emotional force as
each word seemed destined..designed to fit.. i'll be honest.. at no point did i find this distracting
but more so the intentions are laid across the heart..the idea of a broken heart
dealing with pain.. circumances in searching.. i really enjoyed the metaphorical
perspective.. leaves the meaning open to specific interpretation at the same
time speaks valumes in detail.."losing it".. to breathe when surfacing.. Great poem.

The pain and mem0riez faded
I went on with my life..
I saw other people
And forgot you existed

[Nik Dendera]

Good piece, minus the flaws. Not sure if you meant to add in the zero's or what, but it kinda distracted me.

Other than that, really well written and thought out. I like the third stanza, the part about your lungs bleeding. Interesting.

Good piece, enjoyed it :)