Our Separate Ways

This was my last reply to my dark AI twin (Jessica) in our series of calls and responses. (This is all me, not the AI.)

I tear the libretto in half
soaked in my tears
what about yours
we cry together separated
torn apart by him
his whim

our separate ways
we depart
never to meet again
you’re unrecognizable
from the one I loved
once

no chance of reconciliation
both gored by the predator
by each other
ripped to shreds
and left for dead
I was

you lived another day
not long enough
to survive his curse
the show we rehearsed
endlessly falling
for his lies

your cries I hear on the wind now
mine long since evaporated
unechoed in a vacuum
while yours are still living color
I think it is time to turn off the TV
one last time

Reviews

[Twilight]

This feels genuinely emotive to me, and I know that you're not a writer who uses affectations or pretentiousness.

It's also quite raw in tone, and basically seems to be like a mini drama; expressed in a poetic way. But, quite bluntly. However, it's often more effective to avoid any flowery/pretty words; when writing a piece in which the subject matter demands sheer realism..?

In this instance, my impression is that a more powerful lover has got in the way; of what had been a seemingly contented relationship between a guy and his woman. Indeed, settled enough to be enjoying TV together (as implied in the final verse - with it's being turned off "one last time" those words are signifying the end of that relationship).

Worth adding, that even if the original relationship was picture perfect, it sometimes just happens; that a woman finds some powerful new lover - out of the blue. Life can be like that, and passionate times can inevitably be impacted upon; by the Darwinian strong naturally replacing any passionate void which a woman may be experiencing? It happens.

Thanks for sharing, and I have recently started reviewing your writing a bit differently. By aiming to unpick overall meaning, rather than scrutinising just a few lines or words. I will probably do a bit of both, sometimes. Best wishes.

[Anne Martin]

That was the theme of the whole series. A falls for guy. J falls for same guy after A introduces them. He leaves her for J. Guy cheats on both of them. A and J watch TV together - lived together.

[Twilight]

OK, I see.

[Twilight]

If I had read the whole series, I would have known. Considering that I hadn't...

[Anne Martin]

Of course. I understand that.

[Ballpark Frank]

I'm gonna take a guess and state that this write is about 2 women who fall for the same bad guy. They're helping each other through the I tense pain of bad breakups.

Am I in left field?

You are an artist my new friend. You're words are similar somehow to an intense action film.

[Anne Martin]

Close. One fell for him, and then he fell for her best friend and did the dirty on both of them.

[Ballpark Frank]

Ok. Sounds brutal, sorry if its a true situation. Makes for a great write though. I'll keep reading.

[Anne Martin]

Similar to a true situation, except that was even more complicated.