WHY CAN'T I BE SOMEONE'S ROSE?

I Just wanted to be loved...

    She gave you everything she had, 

And all she got were tears flowing like 

a punch bowl waterfall.

Your promises and words didn't mean a thing;

Asking her to marry you and all she dreamt was 

her future ring

Her thick black hair, big chocolate brown eyes

and her natural pink lips

only wanted to have a man think that she was 

the most beautiful.

Why can't someone be her rose?

She wasn't happy, but she still stayed,

even though she was betrayed

She needed you, someone's forever,someone's soul mate.

But you weren't there, left her standing

facing this world filled with enmity.

Cried herself to sleep and no faith in what she 

had believed.

Then you pretend that nothing had happened

it kept choking her, but trained to survive.

Why can't someone be her rose?...

someone to love her passionately and in a second 

will be afraid of losing her.

Someone to accept her for who she is.

understand her world.

She just wanted to be loved like that.

Why can't I be someone's rose??.....

Reviews

[novicepoet]

I love the title; it caught my attention immediately! The rest of the poem was tragically beautiful, but if you ask me, the title is the strongest point in this poem!

I like how in the title, you choose to write "Why can't I" instead of "why can't she." Originally I thought the opposite, I thought you were going for a "figure out it's actually the writer in the pain, not some third person" feel, and putting "I" in the title is a dead giveaway. But now I think it is better as is. It is pretty obvious that it is written in first person. Now I like that you do not pretend otherwise.

Still, at the same time, I like how you say "she" throughout the poem. Perhaps the heartbroken girl does not really want to admit that it is her tragic tale. Or perhaps you say "she" because saying "I" throughout might sound a bit whiney. I am curious...why do you have "I" in the title but not in the body of the poem?

Sorry, as I said I really liked the title. Guess I am going a bit deep into it! I really am curious though...

[Annie S]

Again it makes the reader think it is about the writer, but putting 'she' throughout the poem makes it more mysterious and then i eventually include the title of the poem at the very end as a repetition
that it was the writer.
Hope u understand it now and thank you very much for your comment. Gladly appreciate it. :)

[ShooBLeeDoo]

deep poem, nice truthfull and emotional (:

[Annie S]

I'm very greatful you took the time to read my poem thank you :)

[ShooBLeeDoo]

yes its nice when someone sees your work, Like that famous line out of Avatar 'I see you'

[Annie S]

lol yes it is and i thank you for doing that

[KeatonLouis]

There's a mysterious beauty when it comes to roses and love. Absolutely wonderful in portraying this.

[Annie S]

Thank you very much. Glad that you liked it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. I like the use of the rose. Remind of the old poetry of the past. Wishing and hoping for love. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Annie S]

Thank You Lots :)

[Inspiring Writer]

Wow, what a clear pic. you've shown me through your this piece, a true love's what... you've written the feelings of love... about love written into your words. Creative write and a true loving write, i liked it. Again i've seen some pain, some emotions, some tears as well as some depth in the poem...that come from the breaking heart. Great job once again 'Annie' ;) Keep writing.

[Annie S]

Thank you after all it is was something that had happened to me
I appreciate your comments :)

[Inspiring Writer]

Oh I see, that's why this write contained so much pain that floats over the whole write...
I hope now you're well from that pain.

My pleasure :)

[Annie S]

oh sure i'm good as new
ready to fall in love again i guess haha

[Inspiring Writer]

lol... glad to know you've become again new.. lol
OMG, really.. Hahahah, Ok.. go and jump into the river of love.. lol but be sure "LOVE ALWAYS HURTS" ;)

[Annie S]

yeah i know.. thanks for the advice

[Dr. Wood ?]

cleverly done.....All that sadness, and shattered hope

[Annie S]

Thank you so much :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

in time he will find you everyone has a soul mate when the time is right you'll be someones world :)
Great poem by the way im more into poem that rhyme although for a poem that didn't rhyme it was pretty good. Heartfelt/sweet/emotional/touching and romantic very good poem :)

[Annie S]

thank you so much :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your most welcome :)

[Lucien Maier]

the longing comes through nicely. good flow.

[Annie S]

thanks Lucien :)

[afra]

awahhh this is so sad ....yet beautiful at the same time ...each line is filled with pain and sadness ...most of us can totally relate to this ...we have been through this once in our lives ....well done ..x

[Annie S]

I agree thank you lots