Escape velocity

Describes my present state of mind.

Yeah, I tried too hard to be noticed,

tried to be someone I was not.

I had my mind made up, sure of what I wanted to do.

I exhaled, letting go of whatever dream I had.

And the love I had been saving.

I tried staying close to the surface of sanity.

But a voice kept resonating somewhere inside my head.

And the overwhelming sensation of liberty engulfed me.

I fled to a place above, leaving behind all the chaos.

Where there are no people and the trouble they bring...

Author's Note

This is one of my favourites from many of my compositions. Need your review on it. I am open to appreciation or criticism.

Reviews

[Aradia Lecrawe]

This hit home with me on many levels. The thought of striving to me more than what you are and only having to remind yourself not to get your hopes up. When things don't turn out the way I expect or hope, I tune out everyone and everything around me. I relate with the last line. To me, people bring trouble. They're the ones who tell you you can't or won't. They make your life harder and push you farther back. I will remember this poem for a long time to come. Wonderful job.

[Anita Singh]

Thanks a lot for your review. I am glad to know that you could relate to the poem. It is true that there are only a few people who will appreciate you. Mostly they will demotivate you or pull you down. Sometimes you just feel like running away from all the complexities of life. Thanks a lot for reading and liking. :-)

[Lizzie]

All of us dream of escaping from the worldly bindings in some way or the other. The only difference is the plan of action to do so.

[Anand Sehgal]

I fled to a place above,
leaving behind all the chaos.
Where there are no people and the trouble they bring...



A tired artist yearned for the salvation. great write :)

[Anita Singh]

Thanks Anand!

[AYVID N]

There come times when I just cannot tolerate the crowd and yearn for solitude. I loved the concluding line. I agree with you Anabella. Thanks for superbly expressing what I frequently feel. Just great to read!

[Anita Singh]

Ahh!! Thank you, Divya! Now you made my day! :-)

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome Annabellla...Keep writing... :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

This is a great feeling to explore, and you bring it out -tickle it out- of the darkness of human understanding so well! It is a truly subtle idea. That giving up and letting go of your dream. Was it Nirvana you fled to? Don't give up your Bodhisattva nature, we need you down here a little longer! The title is so well chosen too. You have such a natural style I am impress you can be so poetic with such lack of forced structuring. You let the lines be broken by emotion rather than syllables and maths. Thank you. You inspire me to be more emotive and less subservient to lines and numbers and filling in the blank verse.

[Anita Singh]

The idea of "letting go of my dream" came into my mind because i was tried of trying to please people and stand up to their expectations. I was sure of what i wanted in life but people around me always wanted something else out of me. Fleeing to some place seemed like the only escape from the norm. I am really glad being able to struck your emotional chord. This review is by far the best i have ever received. Thanks a lot! :-)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

That is a great thought! I am actually learning this in my own life too, maybe a little late! It is always hard to escape the feeling you need to please others by being something other than yourself, but it is so necessary to find a way to do that in life!! You have sounded a lovely emotional song in my heart, and to have this be the best review you have received is a shock because I feel you must certainly be due for such a wealth of higher praise. Just keep creating and finding the little moments between the moments in life to recognize and celebrate and write poems for, because this is the greatest gift you can give to life!! Love it!!!

[Veeran Black]

Based on what you were saying, it sounds like you coulda went 100 times deeper even though it was very deep already. I liked the thoughts and images you created for me. I can see all of this clearly and how these thoughts effect you. The voice you say you hear resonating, it makes me think of the inner light I have been learning about lately. Sounds like freedom.

[Anita Singh]

Yes it is all about freedom, escaping from the bindings of the world. Thanks for liking. :-)

[Veeran Black]

No problem.

[Justine]

We do the craziest things when there's a dream waiting to be fulfilled, like "trying to be something I'm not". It's often a means to an end and the detail can come later. You use powerful images throughout, my favorite being "staying close to the surface of sanity" - great use of alliteration and building tension as things start falling apart. I wondered if there should be a line break somewhere to create pause or impact, perhaps after ....surface of sanity? But that's only minor trivia. I loved the final line and actually didn't want the poem to end - I was left wanting more, which I think is the mark of a good read. Justine

[Anita Singh]

I think every one of us must have felt the same as described in the poem. Perhaps a few lines need to be added in the middle to create a greater impact. But I am so glad you connected with this poem. Thank you so much for advicing. This is a great compliment coming from someone like you. Thanks again.

[Anita Singh]

I think everyone of us must have felt the same as described in the poem. Perhaps a few lines need to be added in the middle to create a greater impact. But I am so glad you connected with this poem. Thank you so much for advicing. This is a great compliment coming from someone like you. Thanks again.