Moon Soaked Towers

Two kingdoms tormented

A prince and princess

Blood soaked streets

Both kingdoms a mess

 

Two siblings apart

With a devious plot

An end to all the torment

Their spouse's lives are for not

 

Deaths will end

Corruption will flee

Poison at dinner

Two kingdoms are free

 

Letters between two

Have plotted the sweet end

Murder in two towers tonight

Two lovers have caught eye to this trend

 

 

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

What a captivating, wicked tale!.. I like the evolution of the story and rhymes are nice.. I do recommend tightening up the meter a little and cutting out unnecessary words.. will offer some suggestions/my opinion.. (for what it is worth)...

"Two siblings apart
With a devious plot
An end to all the torment
Their spouses lives are for not"... would cut out "the"... think you need apostrophe for spouses, and would cut out "are"...

(Two siblings apart
with a devious plot
an end to all torment
their spouses' lives for not)

"Two kingdoms are free".. would change "are" to "set".. more aggressive and fitting here in my opinion..

the last stanza would tighten it up and make it a little stronger of an ending... overall, it was entertaining and well done:)

[J Johnson III]

Thanks for the advice. I understand exactly what you are saying and now when I read it again I completely agree. I appreciate it.

[AprilRN1210]

You're more than welcome, glad I could help:)
can't wait to read more!..

[Shadow Paradox]

This is like a dark fairy tale. The title is catchy and the story unfolds wonderfully. I automatically thought Romeo and Juliet but I know its not. This a cool poem :)

[J Johnson III]

It is about whatever you want it to be about. So Romeo and Juliet it is, thank you again.

[Emunah June.]

Woah. That was incredibly well done, and in so few lines! The title alone is incredibly captivating, but very misleading! The symbol of the moon & the image of a tower underneath is beautiful, almost romantic, so to open up to a murderous story of deception and betrayal is incredibly surprising! But the line work is beautiful and the message is mysterious and satisfying. Well done!

[J Johnson III]

Thank you. I think your review is actual written better than my poem, lol. Thank you for your kind words.

[Luz Marie]

This reminded me so much of A Tale of Two Cities-Dickens

[J Johnson III]

How is that? He did write A Christmas Carol so tis the season for referencing his work.

[Luz Marie]

Blood soaked streets and corruption my mind went to A Tale of Two Cites. It's a compliment.

[J Johnson III]

I got that lol. Just curious is all. Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

An epic short story. I like this a lot. Excellent...:).......

[J Johnson III]

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:).......