Letter From Me To My Past

Watch me blow the dust away from...Past & Hurt.....At last Away with both of you, go Blow in the wind, with Ago

  

Dear Past & Hurt,

   I was given a bold gift thru my genetics, I no longer see it as a curse or weakness,

because I am different from the mainstream others. And so, now I am letting you go...Blowing you off with one last " Good - Bye. " 

  

    If I cry over you, It has to be a REASON I decided was worth crying over.You are NO LONGER permitted to DEGRADE ME, DISRESPECT ME, OR TALK DOWN TO ME. Respect me now because that urge to walk away is here, and the WALK KEEPS GETTING SHORTER!
  

    You have nearly ruined a once blind love,all the malice and anger, the spent tears  over you has left my hearts feelings : tarnished , rusted and neglected !
  

    I can still hear your voice, And  SEE that look in your eyes. I remember your hands, Past , all balled and tightly fitted. Isn't that lame? I can't even recall what it's like to be hugged by you. I surely can't remember ever being soothed after a whipping Mr. Hurt ! But you know what I remember MOST OF ALL? Those ice cold angry words that I shouldn't have let you Hurt me with all the more !
    

   I will always hear them, in the nasty Past,  as if it were really only yesterday.

 

   The bruises healed up, there gone away. A few scares remain, not that you know that. They are wound tightly around an innocent child's heart. Permanently rooted in my 35 year old heart...From so long ago.  after I've conquered so much from you. Mr Past, Hurt age's my time no more.
 

    I hope you take this with you Hurt, Now and forever like I did those mean nasty words. Try to remember how you never heard me scream back!

 

   And PLEASE.....STOP ASSUMING I'M ASHAMED OF ME,MYSELF! You were the very one who taught me, NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK! sorry doesn't fix it, not that you tried.  At least I don't recall ever seeing you cry.  I'm not GUILTY, I NEVER WAS.
 

   Never once did I turn your malice around on you. I stood before you-too little and afraid. When I got older I did it the very same way. Well maybe by then there was 1 slight difference...I KNEW I NEVER WANTED TO YOU HURT YOU THAT WAY. So instead I hung my head and took it all in. Up until 6 months ago, I even blamed me dad. Strange don't you think....I'd never think it was okay, you talk to my kids and hurt them that way. But it was okay for you-I LOVED YOU THAT MUCH.
    

    It's important to me that you know where I learned it from, hanging my head down, looking guilty as hell! It's a little funny that it makes you that angry...That NEVER not once did I back hand you,or speak out of anger and leave my mark on you. Sure I made mistakes, and I ran hard as hell to get away from them! I always figured it was better than leaving scar marks like you!
   

    And you know what, I still love you so, but shall miss you nor want you in my life. I can't let you hurt me any more. I never want to see those "Mad As Hell Fire Red Eyes" turn on me-because STILL I am not good enough.

 

    There WILL NEVER be another emotionally charged thing come from your mouth that REACH MY EARS. And guess what else Past and Hurt, This is to both of you attempting to fit into on my sweet time.....
    

     I learned how to love me and nourish A heart you nearly broke. See ya sometime-when you no longer have desires to cuss me and degrade me. Next time around, maybe I can teach you how to be MORE LIKE ME!

 

  

Watch me blow the dust away from...Past & Hurt.....At last

Away with both of you go...Blowing in the wind with Ago

Author's Note

what do you think of telling pain and hurt in your past?

Reviews

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

I just finished reading this. I am very touched and feel quite familiar with your words. What a brilliant, unique concept to write a letter to your Mr. Past. I would have naver thought to do this myself, but I absolutely love it.
I can only imagine how very cathartic it was for you in writing this; was it?
Thank you for sharing this very, personal piece of writing.

[AnnaMariaQQss]

Thank you. I am still trying to find my way around this site. I know it's My story...however I do not know to post ' stories"

[..]

this reads more like a story then a poem, It's an emotional read and well done.