The Lake House

A girl travels to Sweden to visit a new friend. She wants to forget about past, chill out, have fun. Will a voice in her head allow her to do so? Is the new friend as trustworthy as Maya believes?

“Love… they think it’s all about love” Maya’s thoughts were loud, louder than usual. She brought her thumbs up to temples and massaged them firmly. The rest of the fingers rested on the forehead. Her head was heavy. She felt like it was pulled down toward ground by the force of gravity. She rested this stone-like head on a headrest of an airplane seat.

With her eyes closed, she let eight fingers to slide down the forehead, cover the eyes.

“What if love is just a joke of the universe? What if there’s no happiness in it?” A familiar voice sounded in her head again. The voice that she always took as her own, but maybe it belonged to someone else. She asked herself that, and it was more like an idea without a particular timbre. Just a freely moving thought.

“So maybe this voice doesn’t really belong to me?”

“Yes, it does,” the voice replied.

Five hours of the flight passed painfully slow. Every minute felt like a couple of them. Maya couldn’t focus on doing anything productive or not. Getting some sleep felt impossible as well. Instead, she was thinking, trying to figure out if the voice is her own or someone else’s.

She tried to trick it several times, but even if the voice belonged to a stranger, she wouldn’t know it for sure.

The stranger could easily read her mind if they ware in her head, thus, after long hours of thinking, she didn’t come to any valuable conclusions. She couldn’t even establish when the voice occurred for the first time. 

“I was here since the beginning,” the voice stated defending itself. 

“A-ha! So you were, you say!” She laughed in her head, satisfied to this level that a smile appeared on her face. “If you are you, it means that you are not me. Gotcha!”

“I am you and you are me. You keep us separated because you have an inner conversation, but we are one. We are you. Me. Us…”

The plane stopped, and the seatbelt signs have been switched off. The girl unbuckled, stood up, and squeezed out into the aisle that was already full of other passengers standing up with their belongings ready to leave the airplane. She took her carry-on luggage, then slowly proceeding to the exit.

“Maybe it’s all about fun? Love is overrated” the suspicious voice spoke again. “Just have a great time. It’s all I’m asking you for. A little bit of entertainment. Excitement…”

“Ha! You again!” She almost cried out.

“You is me. I is you” the voice repeated patiently, but also with a hint of boredom.

Maya scrolled through her Spotify playlist, searching for a song that will put her in a good mood.

“I can have fun” she acknowledged herself. “I deserve fun! After all those months of mourning…”

“I deserve to have fun” she repeated in her mind using a mantra pattern, she learned from an online meditation program. “I deserve to have fun.”

Another powerful tool she discovered a couple of years ago that helped when she was down was to smile, so she smiled to herself. “You deserve to have fun,” the voice said.

“You…” she started again.

“Oh, stop it!” The voice interrupted her, annoyed.

Maya left the terminal with a fake smile on her face, trying to leave worries behind. “I deserve to have fun,” she kept repeating to herself. It was working.

- Hi! You’re here again! - A tall blond man approached her with a broad, honest smile. His white teeth that seemed to be even whiter because of contrast with his tanned skin flashed at her. - I can’t believe it! 

-I cannot too - Maya muttered and chuckled letting him hug her. Her head rested on his big, muscled arm. It felt good. It felt so good to be in somebody’s arms, and these arms were strong and… safe. It was like a guarantee of protection. Something she hasn’t felt for a long, long time. They weren’t the arms, but at least they were good arms.

He showed his extremely white teeth in another genuine smile. Their eyes met, and she grinned, this time sincerely. 

- Are you ready? Do you want to get coffee? It’s a looong drive - the man spoke in a soft voice, cheerfully, extending sounds of some letters. 

Maya nodded contented with his thoughtfulness.

Her Americano was hot, so she removed the lid to let it cool off. As they walked towards the car she tripped and hot liquid spilled over her hand. A few drops landed on her pants leaving a big, dark stain.

- Great! How will I clean it now?! - She sighed and rolled her eyes more concerned about the stain on the trousers than burned skin. 

- How can I help you? - Tom’s outstretched arm was reaching out for the coffee cup.

- Nah, I’m fine - Maya almost snapped at him for trying to be helpful. - It’s just… I knew that it would happen! - She sighed again, looking at the brown stain on her jeans.

- So why did you do it in the first place? - The man asked with the laughter in his voice. 

- Why… what…? - Maya glanced at him angry. 

- Kidding, kidding - Tom rose his both hands vertically, palms facing her like a shield, but also in a gesture of peace. - Let me help you.

His face was smiley and good. She brightened up watching him taking the cap gently from her hand and placing the lid back.  

“Maybe that way was better...”

They started walking again. Tom’s hand landed on Maya’s lower back while he was leading her to his car.

The girl’s eyes were searching for silver, convertible Mercedes, which she knew from her previous visit, but she couldn’t spot it. The car that flashed its lights in response to Tom pressing a button on the remote control was a black sedan Volvo.

- Did you get a new car? - She asked.

- This? No. No, no. It’s a good car… New, but not very new. I have it for a while… - he explained opening the passenger door for her. - Do you prefer the Mercedes?

- No - she shook her head. 

She snorted, keeping her eyes on him. He smiled in return.

Maya didn’t care much about luxurious cars or lifestyle. At least not that much like - she believed - the man had. He liked to be noticed - yes, that was a fact. Perhaps slightly shallow but harmless. He worked hard to achieve his status, so he had all the rights to display his goods and privileges. To show off. In Maya’s opinion “show off” was “show off”. Two words with pejorative meaning.

Left corner of Maya’s lips twitched in a half-smile. She could see through men’s pathetic actions and games. In her eyes, they were like baboons or peacocks: attention, admiration seekers, parading around, horny animals.  

But sometimes… sometimes she found Tom cute and lovable too. “Maybe we were just animals? Maybe this is how mature love looks like? Maybe there's no passion, but pure profits calculation?”

- This one is more practical and doesn’t stand out - he shut the door with a wide smile on his face.

“More practical for what? You don’t even know this guy!” The voice whispered. Maya watched her friend bounce stepping around the car to the driver’s side. He got in. Looked at her, their eyes met, and started the engine. She tried to smile, but all of a sudden, her face muscles refused to listen to her. She hung the gaze on him, her body froze, her consciousness unwillingly delving into herself.

“He is too polite, don’t you think? And since when he doesn’t want to stand out? He loves being eccentric, surrounded by expensive stuff!”

“Shhh! Shut up!” She tried to push the voice away.

“It is the only reason he wants to have a thing with you. Do you think he likes you? You’re just a luscious, young, crazy chick in his eyes.”

Maya said nothing, not wanting to get into a dispute with the voice. Eventually, she gave up.

“No. And even if… he is nothing to me either. So it’s the only fair if it’s that way.”

“Oh, is it? You met him twice. Twice! You blind, silly, naive…” 

- Are you okay? - She heard a familiar voice from afar. - Maya?

“Ant you think all this is okay?!” The voice continued in a high-pitched, adenoidal tone, almost unbearable. The girl contorted her face at all the biting remarks she heard, and timbre hurting her senses, then, shook her head. She imagined that the voice was an annoying fly that might  be chased away, so she tried very hard to visualize it. And the voice was gone.

- Oh… I’m sorry! - Maya aroused, anxious about what just happened. - I must have been somewhere… somewhere else, I guess… - she chuckled to cover anxiety in her voice. Tears started flowing into her eyes. She blinked and looked away.

Tom’s hand rested on her knee, fingers squeezed gently.

- You look so beautiful!

The ride was pleasant, the view outside - incredible. Maya enjoyed prevailing silence in the car as well as in her head. She smiled delighted, watching a deep-green potato field spreading widely, rolling hills looking like waves of ground sprinkled with flowers, here and there, far in the horizon, serious mountains that tops might be covered with snow all year long. Her eyes admired trees standing lonely somewhere in a grassland, in the same way as they admired dark conifer forests seeming to never end. Nature was beautiful, stunning, hypnotic, calming.

It was beginning of May, beautiful springtime in Sweden, when it is warm enough during a day to mistake it for summer, however chilly at night to remember that summer hasn’t come yet. Sunny, long days encouraged to stay outside, so in big cities, many Swedes walked or cycled in the working week, and traveled to the countryside for weekends.

It was Wednesday, thus traffic outside the city of Stockholm wasn’t bad. Tom’s profession allowed him to be flexible with his working schedule. They drove route 77 towards Narven located on the East coast of Sweden.

- So… how’s your flight? - The man tried to initiate a conversation.

- Fine - Maya answered shortly roused from the stupor.

- Did you manage to get some rest? I bet you’re tired! - Tom continued.

- I was… I’m fine - she took her eyes off the view, looked at the driver, and then smiled. He tried, she knew it. “There’s no reason to be grumpy,” she told herself. - The flight wasn’t full. I slept for the greatest part of it - she lied.

It was a good lie, for a good reason, so-called a white lie. Realizing that made her to smile wider. The man smiled back as in relief.

- Ready to have fun?

- Yaaas! - She exclaimed, faking enthusiasm. - Mmm… By the way… where are we going exactly? 

- To my lake house - Tom’s voice all of a sudden turned blank while giving this short, not detailed answer. 

- Which is…? - Maya didn’t know why, but she felt like she actually should know they future whereabouts. Perhaps she should have been interested in it beforehand, but better late than never.

- Oh… what? - This time it was Tom who looked like he was somewhere else, lost in thought or very focused on the road.

- The lake house - Maya said firmly, watching carefully a pensive face of her partner.

- Oh! Sorry! We have to stop by a supermarket to get something for dinner! I just realized… What do you fancy? - The man explained chaotically.

- Yea… fine, but… Tom? Where’s the house? - The girl insisted. Her voice trembled, body shuddered.

- The… Ah! Sorry… - He turned to her and smiled apologetically. - By Norrtäljeviken lake. We missed the exit.

- Oh, I’m sorry… - Maya mumbled feeling embarrassed with her sudden outburst of panic. 

- What are you sorry about, pretty? 

- I don’t… It’s just… - she stammered as they parked the car on a parking of a supermarket. - How about sushi? - She changed the subject. 

- Whatever you want, beautiful.

Tom took her hand in his and lifted it, angled his head toward the hand kissing gently. The man looked at her still holding her hand close to this lips. She smiled, diving in his arctic blue eyes. Suddenly his face was just a few centimeters away from hers. Their lips met and they kissed long on the parking lot.

- We should get going - Maya whispered, smoothly moving away from the man’s face.

- Why? - He asked, still holding her in his arms.

- People are starting…

- So what? They’re jealous. Good.

- Let’s go! - Maya chuckled, getting off the car. 

One hour later, they were back on the road. Tom held Maya’s hand as they drove nodding and acquiescing to her cheerful chattering.

- So… Mmm… - Tom grunted, interrupting the story.

- Yes? - She looked at him, smiling.

- Does anyone know that you are here? - He asked casually.

“Oh, that’s an interesting question. What if I tell you that everybody? What if I tell you that… nobody?” whispered the voice in her head. Corners of Maya’s lips dropped.

A narrow path led to a small, simple, wooden house. The house appeared to be well maintained but definitely neglected for a longer while. Leaves, twigs and brunches covered a spacious patio. Windows were dirty, dead flies and wasps decorated the windowsills. A thin layer of dust covered the floor and the pieces of furniture. 

The front door creaked open, dust rose into the air, dancing in beam of light as they stepped inside.

The house stunk of negligence. Unpleasant smell of musty air hit Maya’s nostrils the moment she crossed a threshold of the house. She looked around, subconsciously judging the surroundings. A massive insect reminding Maya of a mutant bee was laying on the floor. It must have died a long time ago because its body crunched like a piece of very dry brushwood under Tom’s shoe. Maya looked down where the sound came from. The man’s feet turned toward her as he cleared his throat.

- And? - Tom asked cheerfully. - A bit messy but we can tidy up quickly… After dinner though! I’m starving! I am very, very hungry - the last sentence was said in a low, deep, intimate voice. A fond smile appeared on the man’s face.

- Sure! Shall we cook? - Maya responded enthusiastically, moving quickly away from Tom’s hands that were about to land on her hips. - Shall we bring the rest of bags from the car first?

- You stay here - Tom in an open hand gesture showed her a kitchen. - And I’ll take care of the rest.

- Thanks… 

Maya obediently went to the kitchen, placed a reusable bag on countertop, and started unpacking groceries. She opened the door of a small fridge. It was empty. The girl put in products they got for breakfast, closed the door, then checked the freezer. Empty. Even not an ice cub.

Standing in the open kitchen, the girl scanned living room. In dimmed light she spotted a dark brown table standing in the middle with six matching chairs. A sofa was placed against the wooden wall. Through big windows she could see beams of sunlight dancing in tree crowns, coniferous branches moved slowly, white sparkles marked a flat surface of the lake.

Peacefulness.  And then: “That’s it? So that is it?!” The voice shouted, and then, after a short pause, it laughed. “You’re going to cook for him?!”

Maya ignored it. Was it her thinking, was it someone else taking in her head - she couldn't tell, but she decided to ignore the voice. It heard it, obviously, disagreed, declared that it - the voice, must protect her. It said, “the purpose of my existence is to keep you safe. You… US!” It said, it was a voice of reason. “I am the voice of reason. Not you… I am.”

A few dozen minutes ago, in the car, Maya looked deeply in Tom’s eyes, and she decided to trust him. She needed to trust him. She desperately needed to find peace, even if her heart and mind didn't recognize this opportunity in the current situation. Maya was determined to force herself.

“It’s temporary. It’s for the best” She told herself. The voice laughed.

Although she concluded to trust the man, her trust could be restricted. So she answered “Yes, all my friends know. I even told my parents” to the disturbing Tom’s question. In reality nobody knew. 

- No reception - Tom entered the house with his phone in his left hand. 

- I’m in airplane mode anyway - Maya shrugged. 

“Stuuuuudpiiiid” the voice hissed. “Damn it!” 

- Won’t your friends be worried about you? - The man dropped came to her, and took her in his arms.

- They know I’m with you - she looked up smiling at him. He was handsome, indeed. A little bit too much of self-tan, too perfect hairstyle, too much whitened teeth, but still, he was a handsome man. Maya’s arms hugged his torso. 

- One day only with you, separated from the entire world… sounds like an amazing idea - Tom whispered in her ear. An unexpected thrill ran down her spine. - Leave it! Let's swim in the lake! 

The Swede pulled her outside, full of enthusiasm, suddenly excited like a child who was promised a favorite threat. 

They ran barefoot in the shade of trees trying to avoid stepping on cones, tree brunches and little stones. The sun blinded them for a moment when they ran out of the shadow.

Maya blinked a couple times to see clearer. A massive lake surrounded by greenery appeared to her eyes.

They walked on a tiny wild beach and then on the spacious wooden jetty.

- Wow... That’s… wow - Maya breathed.

- You wanna swim? - The girl heard Tom’s voice from behind.

- I don’t have…

An unexpected push interrupted the sentence. For a few nanoseconds her limp body flew in the air before it touched the water surface, splashing it, immersing deeper in water.

“Murrrrderrrrerrrr!” The voice shouted in terror. 

Maya laughed in her head with joy and at the voice. She swiftly swam up to get some air and dived again. She loved to swim, she used to swim whenever she got an opportunity. Why did she stop? It was such a joyful activity!

She emerged from the water, then swam slowly back to the jetty. Loose trousers and strap top she was wearing wasn't the best outfit for swimming.

Tom was observing her with wide open eyes. He smirked at her when she came closer.  

- I’m sorry… I… I just… wasn't thinking - the man stammered.

- What? - Maya removed her sport watch from her wrist and put it on the jetty, then looked at him surprised. - Can you help me, please?

Tom grabbed her outstretched arm with his left, stronger, hand, and was about to pull her up when the girl caught his arm with both of her hands and tried to pull him down into the water. He easily resisted. He helped her out, and they killed themselves laughing.

They swam naked in the cold water of Baltic Sea, warmed their bodies in the sun rays of spring sun, and then, when dusk came, they went back to the house.

There was no reason to worry in the daylight.

Tom peeled carrots and cucumbers, Maya sliced them and cut into sticks. Rice simmered on the stove. Tom layered smoked salmon, Maya washed chives and spread them out to dry. Tom passed rice vinegar and soy sauce to Maya who mixed them in her favorite proportions. She skipped sugar that should be added to the mixture as she found it unnecessary. When the rice was ready, she took the pot from the heat, stirred cooked seeds, and covered to let it absorb the rest of water.

Perfect sushi rice should cool down before landing on seaweed sheet but they were hungry. Maya poured some cold water to the sink and placed the pot inside. Then she removed the cover and stirred patiently, gradually adding mixture of vinegar and soy sauce. Tom started tidying the dining table. Maya glanced at her companion over the countertop, content. It felt so good to cook together, to cook for someone.

The girl gathered all the ingredients in a proper order, within reach. From left to right, a pot with rice, a plate with the vegetables, a plate with fish. She wished she had some sesame seeds that add nice crunchiness. “You don't have to have everything. What you’ve got is sufficient.” A gentle, soft voice spoke in the girl’s head.

She covered a seaweed sheet with rice leaving a strap, then put a couple of carrot and cucumber sticks, and salmon on the opposite edge. She rolled it up tightly. One after another her hands produce nine sushi rolls.

It was too many and the girl knew it, but the process was relaxing to this point that she didn't want to stop. So she carried on until all the ingredients were gone. When she was done, she placed the plate with the rolls in the fridge to solidify them.

- Would you like some red wine? - Tom courtly presented a bottle of red wine.

- Sure, thank you. The dinner will be ready in ten minutes. 

He passed her a wine glass full of red liquid. Maya took it gratefully, then gulped almost a half of it. The wine was dry, fruity, full-bodied, intense with fruitiness finish. Maya liked it. Wine was good even though this kind of grapes shouldn't be paired with fish.

The most important however was that it worked. A light buzz in the head proved that. She took another sip as soon as she was sat on the sofa.

- You’re not drinking - Maya frowned when Tom, holding a glass of water in his left hand, came to sit with her. 

- No, I prefer not - he admitted. His right hand rested on her left knee. 

Maya stood up quickly. There was something in his eyes… Something that made her heart beat faster. Seemingly harmless gestures and words caused discomfort. Instead of usual cold judgement, chaos took over her mind. The girl proceeded to the kitchen, on sort of an autopilot. Her body moved smoothly avoiding pieces of furniture. Absent gaze, serious facial expression.

“I told you, I told you, I told you” the voice sang with unhidden satisfaction. “Look at him, look deeply in his eyes, and you will see… Madness!” Excitement of the voice and her own fear blended into one emotion so Maya couldn’t separate hers from the one belonging to… the other her. Was she scared or excited?”

“Watch out! Feeear him!” The voice cried out. “Danger, daaaaanger is coming! Coooooming for you!” Words echoed in her head. She started quietly, soundless, whispering them.

“It sounds like a song of a mad shaman!” Another voice, sweeter, friendlier, spoke up in Maya’s head, followed by a peal of a cheerful silver laugh.

The girl started giggling to finally burst into laughter. When the silver laugh has finished, she stopped as well, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“Run, run, run! You have to escape!” The first voice screamed, but its scream wasn’t authoritative anymore. It sounded like someone who lost the ground under one’s feet, someone who is afraid of losing previously owned power, panicking.

“Why?” The girl thought.

“He wants to kiiiiiiiiiiiiiill you!”

- But… why? - Maya repeated out loud.

- What “why”? - Tom gazed at her from behind the dining table, which he was dressing up.

The man’s eyes looked nothing but worried, his face - confused, his whole body revealed discomfort. The girl’s face flushed, ashamed of her strange behavior. “Dear… We must have been acting strangely…” The second voice noted bashfully. “Oh, poor man.”

Maya sighed. She put the knife down on a big, wooden cutting board, picked it up, then put it down again. She stared at the sharp blade, thinking, placed an index finger on the handle, and spun it. Her lips curved slightly in a smile. Maya looked up at the man smiling wider. 

With gaze fixed on the handsome face, she went around the kitchen countertop, moved a chair that was on her way, and stopped just in front of Tom.

- I’m sorry… I’m quite lost in my mind - Maya confessed. - Or rather… I was - she corrected herself, trying to catch eye contact with the man. - I promise I’ll be present now.

“The knife! You are holding a knife! Stab him!” The first voice roared, urging.

Maya looked down to realize, that indeed she was holding the kitchen knife in her right hand. She made a face rising the arm.

- I better get back to cutting those sushi rolls - Maya winked at him coquettishly.

- Sure, babe - Tom patted her bum. Their eyes met. He had hungry eyes, she a little bit baffled - I’m starving.

Approximately 15 minutes later, everything was ready. Sushi rolls cut in prefect, equal pieces - eight per one roll, gari - Japanese pickled ginger, wasabi, and soy sauce presented nicely. Plates and bowls didn't match, but Maya did her best to ignore this detail. The girl brought her empty wine glass while Tom placed a glass of water next to his table, and poured more wine to the empty glass.

Maya arranged the dishes, and sat down, read to eat. Her stomach woke up, mouth started watering. She swallowed the saliva, took a sip of wine, followed by another, waiting for Tom to light candles. Things swirled around her for a second. Once out of her head, the girl realized she might've had too much of wine. 

- Ta-da! - He imitated a fanfare placing the last candle on the table. Maya clapped. - More wine?

- No… maybe water… - she stuttered, ashamed.

- Just water? Sure? I will bring you water in a minute. Here you are - the man topped up the wine glass.

- Oh… okay… Yes, please - the girl slurred her words. - You are hot.

- And so you, princess - Tom chuckled gently. He sat in a chair on the other side of the table, watching her for a moment.

- Thank you - Maya winked at him, grabbed the glass and started sipping her wine. - Shall we… eat? - Her own words sounded dirty to her, so she began to laugh.

- You are a crazy girl - Tom laughed along, then paused. Although his lips were smiling, his blue eyes were deadly serious. - I like crazy. I’m crazy too.