All in your head

Written December 29th 2016 Some of my pieces(like this) are internal arguments with myself.

I can make this better,

And I will make this better.

Stuck in a mindset where I deserve more,

Well it's all in my head.

Twisting all in my head.

To the point I have to mentally meditate just to sleep at night.

Creating rhymes,

So I'll breathe right, again.

The thoughts that eat me alive, I'm so insecure.

Keep a tracker on my doubts,

I know I've been here before.

I've walked with the worries;

S**t, it's a daily chore.

I'll know that it's alright when I don't find myself shaking anymore.

Gotta watch myself;

Growing comfortable,

Settling in.

Yet you keep me on the edge without even knowing it.

But what's the shame in falling?

If it means I'll be set free.

Temporarily at ease,

Who knew this could happen to me?

Write it all down,

I'm writing it all out.

Scared of being scared;

So I'm still living with open arteries, busting wounds.

I underestimate the anxiety because I have to move around.

I can't keep sleeping in a safe house that quakes from a "what if" storm cloud.

But when the storm hits-

That is enough.

When the windowpane breaks-

No, you're being abrupt.

Give it a rest; you deserve more because you've ditched at any sudden chance,

Any sudden change.

Face it, you've put yourself in chains.

You can't go any further because you pick at your wounds;

You bust your bruises,

And no one's sorry for you.

Open up your eyes,

You've always disguised your insecurities in ways of the past.

Those girls they did you wrong, but I swear you need to quit looking back;

I'll leave it at that.

You deserve more because it's all in your head.

You will be disappointed no doubt.

But you can make this better.

You've got a good set of legs,

And a mind that will lead you to dead ends;

If you don't stop replaying every single match that you've lost over long lost phrases they've said.

Everything you did has a purpose;

So remember the trail you never took.

You are the producer of code red,

All the warning labels read: it's all in your head.

And you can make this better,

You will have to make this better.