The Slenderman

A girl is stalked and haunted by the infamous Slenderman. An assignment for my Creative Writing class.

“The Slenderman”

 

 

Hunting you

I can smell you alive

Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me

I can feel you pull me down

Saving me, raping me

Watching me

      -Evanescence, Haunted

 

As I walked home from the store that feeling welled up inside me again. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I swore someone or something was following. I held tight to the plastic bags in each hand, trying not to shake. My Louis Vuitton purse fell from my shoulder to the pit of my elbow; I didn’t care to fix it.

      Don’t look back, Juniper. Whatever you do, don’t look behind you, my conscious told me.

      I knew someone was following me. I’d known it for at least a few days now. But why was it stalking me? I did not want to find out. So I just kept walking home, hoping it would go away. Just as I got to my front door, an urge hit me to look behind.

      Don’t do it. Don’t look back, my conscious said.

      I listened, taking the key from my purse that was still dangling near my elbow. Slipping it into the lock, it felt like a relief that I’d made it. Everything suddenly went black. I didn’t know what happened.

      My eyes slowly opened after I don’t know how long. I was no longer at my front door, but a cold, dark room I clearly did not recognize. My breath caught. as I start looking around the room in horror.

      “Wh-what’s going on??” I ask aloud.

     I knew someone was in the room with me. A light flipped on, dimly shining in the room so I could see who was with me. It was a tall man in a black suit, tie and all. But then I saw…his face… No, there was no face! He had no face! It was just pale skin, and completely featureless. I screamed, getting to my feet to look for a way out. Then I realized there was none. There were no doors, no windows. I was trapped. But how did I get in here? If there were no way to get in or out, how could he, no…how could it have possibly gotten me in here?

      “Who are you?!” I bellowed. “What are you?!”

      It didn’t answer; probably couldn’t anyway. When it started coming closer to me, I screeched for it to leave me alone. I couldn’t throw anything at it to fend it off, because there was nothing. All that was in the room were me and that thing. Something came out of its back…like some kind of tentacle. Not just one; two, three, four…

      “What are you?!” I screamed again.

      It came closer and closer, to where it could touch me. One of its tentacles wrapped around my right arm. I bellowed, trying to beat it off. But it was sharp, like a razor as it held on tighter. My arm began to bleed. NO! This wasn’t possible! It can’t be that sharp! But it was, and it didn’t seem to care much about if I could comprehend whatever power it had over me or not. As if my arm were a twig, my arm was torn off from my elbow. Blood covered my skirt and sweater. I was screaming and crying, agonized.

      “Stop!” I begged. “STOP!”

      Its tentacle tossed my arm away like trash and then grabbed my leg on the opposite side my arm had been on. The only thing I could do was scream. No longer could I even move or try to beat it off; I was paralyzed with fright. It ripped my leg off. This made it impossible for me to stand with all my violent shaking. I fell on her stomach, and then began to crawl away to what I thought would be the door, if there had been one. The pain was unbearable, and I had to stop halfway to catch her breath. I tried not to see the blood that I was spreading all over the floor. My stomach clenched.

      I can’t die, I told myself.

I grit my teeth in frustration and then felt it grab on to my leg that was still attached to my body. I writhed angrily.

      “Get off me, freak!” I barked.

Its tentacle was tightening intensely.

      “What do you want from me!” I cried, tears falling from my eyes. “What do you want?!”

      It was only a matter of time before it ripped my other leg off, then my other arm, and then possibly my throat, until I was dead. But before I had any time to experience any of that, I blacked out.

      “She’s waking up!” an unfamiliar voice said, as if there were others around.

      “Juniper! Are you okay? Can you hear me?” my sister’s voice rang in my ears.

      “Give her some space! She’s had a traumatic experience,” the same unfamiliar voice told her sister.

      I opened my eyes fully to see my sister at my side with a doctor. I also realized I was in a hospital bed and my bloody clothes had been replaced by medical robes.

      “What…is…going on?” I asked the doctor. “What….where is it?”

My sister and the doctor looked at each other. They looked baffled.

      “We don’t really know what you’re talking about. But someone has torn off both your legs and your right arm.” The doctor told me. “We’ve patched up your wound well, and the bleeding been mostly halted. But you’re going to need to stay here for a while.

      I was horrified by the news. I didn’t want to look to my right, knowing my arm wouldn’t be there. I threw up on the bed when I couldn’t feel my feet.

      “Help her, doctor!” my sister cried.

The doctor rushed out of the room and came back with a trash can with a bag in it.

      “Here,” he said to me.

I took it without a second wasted and let the rest of my bile fall into the can.

      I wanted to tell about the horrible thing I’d seen, and I eventually did, to a close friend. She told me I’d been attacked by the Slenderman.

      “It’s unfortunate,” she said, and looked unnerved. “The Slenderman doesn’t just attack his victims. He stalks them until they go insane and then kills them.”

      I couldn’t believe it. But I knew I had to face the reality that it wouldn’t leave me alone, and I would eventually be killed by it and cease to be.

Reviews

[Edenexile]

I liked your story a lot; it was pretty cool. I am a big Slendy fan and this story actually creeped me out. (Especially the fact that your character's problems begin while walking from a store, because I live at a college in the mountains, and walking from a store at night near woods and an abandoned hospital automatically makes me paranoid.)
I also find it cool that you like to write about the black plague, because I was thinking of writing a story connecting Slenderman and the Black Plague.
Cool story :D

[~AnnaCentric~]

Great! Slendy and the Black Plague seems like something that would be interesting. I would love to read it and help you with it, if you'd have me! :)

[A.J. Aston]

Dear Anna,
I read "The Slenderman" and have the following comments:
I've taken some of your sentences as examples of where you may have gone wrong.
"Whatever you do, don’t look behind you, my conscious told me." This is a small thing but the expression 'my conscious' is awkward. Your conscious as opposed to what, your unconscious? Better to say something 'my inner voice said' or 'I head my inner voice tell me'.
"But why was it stalking me?" The reader learns that you are being stalked by someone. You do say 'someone' or 'something' but without elaboration why you thought that it was a 'something', you jump to calling this entity 'it' and not 'he'.
'my arm was torn off from my elbow. Blood covered my skirt and sweater. I was screaming and crying, agonized." Chances are very good that if your arm was torn off, you would have already lost consciousness here, from the pain and the blood loss. Be careful when talking about trauma to the body that your medical facts are straight, that you know how a body would react.
“Give her some space! She’s had a traumatic experience,” the same unfamiliar voice told her sister." You wake up and at first the reader thinks that you just had a bad dream but then your friend confirms that you had been attacked by the SLenderman. So was your arm and your leg ripped off? If so, then the person who, earlier in the story says "Give her some space! She's had a traumatic experience" is rather understating things don't you think? Your story could have potential but you need to explain things more. Why did you originally suspect that you may be followed by a thing and not a person? Does the Slenderman need to be quite so 'drastic' in his actions? Couldn't he just cut you really badly, at least at first, before he starts ripping limbs off? Check with a doctor and ask what would happen to a person who had bits of themselves torn off. Do you really think you would be able to think coherently enough to ask your attacker what he wants from you after losing an arm and a leg so violently? If it had all been a dream, much could be forgiven. In dreams bad things happen to us yet we still can function as normal. In waking life, it ain't necessarily so.....A.J.

[~AnnaCentric~]

Thank you SO VERY VERY MUCH for the honest review. Obviously, yes, it's very unrealistic. I really only put those graphic parts in to scare my classmates... Which worked, by the way. ;) I even won the Scary Story contest my school was holding. But yeah, it needs a lot more work. And if you could, please read and review my story "The Unknown'. Thank you! :)