SAT Essay #1

This is a SAT essay practice question and this is my view point. Would really appreciate if you review this.

Question:
"Society may limit our actions, but it cannot limit our thoughts. Even if society disapproves of our opinion, we are ultimately free to decide whatever we want. Those decisions may, of course, have consequences, but they are still ours to make"

Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences, or observations.


Essay
From my point of view, we are free to make our own choices in life. It is us who decide our life and not the society. It is us who will learn from our mistakes of choosing our opinions over others and not the society. This can be explained by couple of examples.

From my observations and past experiences, I've seen the society choose careers based on gender - engineer if male and doctor if female. The people have limited their thoughts to think about only two careers when there are many other choices to choose from. But the opinion of the society shouldn't be of any matter to us. It all depends on how we see the society. The child should choose what he or she wants to be rather than the people pressurizing him or her on one thing.

The country of Saudi Arabia is well known among people as a very strict country or a country of no freedom. Although it prohibits the freedom to express one's thoughts against the rulers, it doesn't prohibit the freedom to think about it. A ruler or emperor can stop a person from doing anything rude to the public but he cannot change what a person thinks.

It is clear to say that we have the freedom to think what we like and the society shouldn't be an influence on it. They may prevent our actions from being executed but they cannot prevent our thoughts.

Author's Note

Please rate this essay based on SAT standard.
6- outstanding
5- effective
4- competent
3- inadequate
2- seriously limited
1- lots of improvement required.

Rate this essay based on the language, vocabulary, approach to the prompt, context etc. Thank you