The Cost of Sleep

 

In the darkness dreams may come…

still some prefer to wander

across fields whose familiar grass

is like a taste of something old,

something lovingly lived in,

something comfortable.

 

When sleepy eyes awake to reveal

the shadowed face of a lover,

too tired to move, but

too wired to close his eyes,

to drag himself from

the scent of sweet hair and

the sight of his partner’s bare skin,

or the sound of her rhythmic breath

upon the miles of fabric between them,

a moment in time is forever trapped

in a place where two become one

and one transcends the boundaries

of blackness which cascades

like stars across a barren sky.

 

There is a time when

new lovers lose themselves,

bewildered by the rapture

which forms in the shadowed face

of someone who promises

to release the pain of loneliness,

to quench the salty taste of desire,

and to these beings, sleep seems

the fastest route from freedom

back to a life whose melancholic whir

is like the sound of tires

upon the coldest highway.

 

It is in these moments,

when blurry eyes refuse to close,

that a mortal feels powerful enough

to stretch mere seconds

in to infinity…

Reviews

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Mm, I like the way you describe the intimacy in the second verse. It sounds so romantically peaceful, yet it stirs enough passionate feelings to make it exciting. And the last three lines are undoubtedly my favorite. Wonderment and longing seem to coincide perfectly within these three lines. Hmm...now that I re-read upon it, I love the third verse too. It's all in the description, the imagery.

Another gem in the treasure queue. =)

[Hakim Bensiali]

I like the descriptive nature of ur work. I had a lump in my throat reading down and as always your finishing is quite amazing. I dont know if you want any suggestions. I just liked your other poems as the ending just flowed off the tongue.


I would like to recommend the following, but its really up to you. I think your work is fantastic as it is and certainly has a unique style and maybe my style might be thought of as a deviation from it but try this if you like it:

'It is in these moments,when blurry eyes refuse to close,that a mortal feels powerful enoughto stretch mere secondsin to infinity�'

It is in these moments, these momemts a few, when blurry eyes refuse to close but long to open a new,that a mortal feels powerful enough to stretch, mere seconds into infinity and its hope to fetch�

[Loribeth215]

I agree with Augustine, this is just beautiful. It makes you want to experience those kinds of moments all over again.

[Gandré]

this is interesting concept. I have this idea, that lovers don't experience darkness. everything is clear and and wonderful and positive. This is a new aspect; I didn't experience. What kind of darkness? I thought... between lovers darkness doesn't exist. Everything is allowed in the realm of love.. I thought.. This is wonderfully peaceful and yet makes me curious to pay attention to such moments. I will think about this poem when they appear in my life. Beautiful!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Such a very serene and sensual piece... no doubt that no matter how good our dreams are of the one we love nothing beats being together and though sleep is required it easy to see how much precious time we lose with the one that holds our heart.