Depth

 

The depth at which I see you,

is like a child staring off of a cliff,

looking down at an ocean whose

black currents churn and shake

the very ground on which she stands

 

you shake me, my awareness jolted,

you are electrical energy through my veins

 

my eyes are open for the first time,

looking at you with vision that does not blur

no matter how hard I stare or strain,

you are burnt in to my memory, branded

beneath the surface of my dreams

 

steering me unconsciously, pushing

the limits of my ability to perceive life

 

and suddenly I am interested in things,

like the relationship between nature and flesh,

the way that blood connects us all

in one fashion or another, and I’m fascinated

by the extreme at which I feel I would go

to do something so very small and simple, like

 

touch your hand, brush your arm,

smile at you with the almond curve of my eyes

 

in a way I have been broken, torn into fragments

that all resemble my former self with slight variations,

and as of yet I cannot decide whether to thank you

or whether I should cast you out, naked and alone,

so that you can feel the vulnerability that I taste now,

in my mouth, like the sweet afterthought of chocolate.

Reviews

[Dionysus Cain]

good poem, but i have to say after the first stanza, IT GOT TO FORCED TO ME. I think that some of the words you used where forced in to the poem to give it more depth. i think if you just said what you wanted to say with out the clutter of words it would have went along smoother. but good poem ....

[Jason Henry]

a pretty stark end with such a love-filled, almost needy introduction... nevertheless, i thoroughly enjoyed it! i adore the first stanza...the simile of the child was uber-vivid, even scary to see the distance between the child and the ocean. and the ocean itself is scary to boot...and lovely flow and rhythm throughout.

[bluessadmood]

he was not wrong the one who said you really know the human soul,i think this,you were looking from above,he made the grounds shake under your feet ,your eyes would not blur even you kept staring at him ,he is even kept there in your brain branded..
-steering me consciously,pushing the limits of my ability to perceive life-
and then,suddenly you are interested in the relationship between nature and flesh and will go as far as touching his arms ,and smile at him ,in a way ,i think you were not ready or did not like it,but he made you, so you were at loss ,whether to thank him or cast him out naked and alone,for he made you feel and taste vulnerability,very deep thinking,i tried hard to get it ,i hope i did,excellent writing ,i really admire you ,the way you make things build up from very afar,just great

[Chris Willits]

I like the last verse a lot. A very good poem. I was glad to read it.

[Dani California]

This is fabulous.

Much like Pax. I too read somewhat of a phoenix resurrection.... a coming into awareness, truth in the beginning. Though, the last stanza threw me off for a minute, but quickly brought me back into the the realm of giving all of one's self, open .. vulnerable.. no longer in complete control of self... weakened.

Again, your writing humbles me. So well done... an absolute pleasure to read my friend. Thank you.

[[untitled]]

Hmm...the last verse gives me pause...

I like the couplets, I think they show the unrestrained thoughts behind the words of the verses. I still find it amazing how deeply you delve into the unseen of human emotion and thoughts.

I think you are amazing!

[Pax Analog]

Beautiful. This poem is the very essence of Anima Inspired. Cliff, sea depth, child-like wonder, electricity, the shamanic intensity of being rent asunder, yet that hint of phoenix-like resurrection, and the sly turnaround of putting the other in your quivering place, savored like subtle chocolate. Exquisite.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The funny thing bout love is all the mixed emotion that come when it first begins

my eyes are open for the first time,
looking at you with vision that does not blur
no matter how hard I stare or strain,
you are burnt in to my memory, branded
beneath the surface of my dreams


that stanza was so brilliant cause we do tend to fall into that one track mind like a horse with blinder on for a while.

in a way I have been broken, torn into fragments
that all resemble my former self with slight variations,
and as of yet I cannot decide whether to thank you
or whether I should cast you out, naked and alone,
so that you can feel the vulnerability that I taste now,
in my mouth, like the sweet afterthought of chocolate.

and so true is this stanza for when we become involved with someone we do change in someways whether we see them or not..

all in all another marvelous piece of writing.