Falling in Love

Sometimes falling in love is like a battle...

 

Surrender to me,

take my hand and forget

everything that you are.

 

Be still while I take hold,

burrowing like an animal into your heart,

 

now struggle,

 

once I wrap my fingers around your soul

my grip is iron, but I like the fight,

it makes me stronger.

 

Hold your breath,

 

I’m like water rising, getting deeper,

and you can’t swim.

You’re drowning now.

It won’t be long.

Don’t think about it.

Just let go…

 

Wake up.

 

It’s a new day.

Look at the sky

and see my face in the clouds.

 

That is what you are to me,

all that is above the earth,

all that is longed for yet untouchable;

You are my muse, my divinity.

 

Now, hope that I stay.

Hope I am not fickle.

Hope I do not cast you out of my world

And back to the place from whence you came.

 

You thought you were alive

Before I breathed my life into you,

But realize, without me,

Life is just a dull shade of gray.

Author's Note

A little darker than normal...but what's love and light without the occasional darkness?

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I agree with you, dark poems can sometimes make the best ones. Very nice poem, one of the better ones I read. Full of passion and emotion, those are my favorite ones.

"You thought you were alive Before I breathed my life into you,But realize, without me,Life is just a dull shade of gray."

GREAT CLOSING LINE. I LOVE THAT!! kind of reminds me of that song by Jill Scott "My love" ...where she is saying without her he is nothing, without her love.

thanks for sharing.

Kena

[Adela Muresan]

This is great, seems like it's inspired from ,,Sad but true,, form Metallica.
The horrors that sometimes hide behind a kind mask, are well described trough it ... greatly described.

A.M.

[bluessadmood]

i had to come again to say some more...oh i love you so i have to take control ,i will choke you, you will not find no more air ,you live through me ,you breathe through me ,you love through me ,only,you see life and the world and different colors through me ,you will not see as you will not breath but through and for me ,then you will not regret it for i will show you different worlds you have never seen with different colors ,no more dull shades of gray,this is the love i know ,this is it my love

[bluessadmood]

no that was so nice ,i liked the way you took control,keep still you say till you go down for i will weigh you down till you drown i will infiltrate and surround your body and cut the air off you till you think you have drowned,like i am everything i am your life ,i know you may think i choked you,but you see how nice to live only through me,i am the air i am your way out to everything good ,do not feel bad ,you will see with me everything is colored after it was all dull shade of gray,just wonderful really again some of the few that really meant a lot to me

[Katherine Wyatt]

Fascinating and yes..a bit on the dark side..Poetically amazing..Love it!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very interesting piece but your right even love has it's darker side... I love this piece cause i feel it deals with an obsessed person living in their own little word and i have crossed a couple of these people so can relate to that. Seriously very chilling write that I really enjoyed a lot.

[emmajoy]

'You thought you were alive Before I breathed my life into you ,But realize, without me,Life is just a dull shade of gray' , and vice versa, perhaps..

an other intense, deeply em otional write.. y ou certainly kn ow how t o use wo rds and phrases to create pictures. Th ere appe ars to be yes, a dark ness, but it add s alm ost a mystic t ouvh.

Thank y ou for s haring y our skill.

[Shane William]

I think this was one you might have been comparing to my recent poem? On a side note, your much more vivid with your metaphors and take them farther (something I want work on doing myself). Like burrowing like and animal into my heart...you can't swim...your drowning. I really did feel the lines more than I could mine.

[Shane William]

I like your writing; and I think I like this occasional dark style.

[lauren emily]

Sometimes love IS like a battle, you have to fight for what you're feeling. And sometimes, when you fall in love--like you said--it is like being reborn. Everything seems new and life seems a bit brighter.
Good work,
~Lauren

[[untitled]]

That's cold as ice...lol. Such tyranny of the heart. Maybe it's just me but true love doesn't hold another's heart at ransom, or rule over it with an iron fist.

I like the one-liners, definitely darker than normal.