Falling in Love

Sometimes falling in love is like a battle...

 

Surrender to me,

take my hand and forget

everything that you are.

 

Be still while I take hold,

burrowing like an animal into your heart,

 

now struggle,

 

once I wrap my fingers around your soul

my grip is iron, but I like the fight,

it makes me stronger.

 

Hold your breath,

 

I’m like water rising, getting deeper,

and you can’t swim.

You’re drowning now.

It won’t be long.

Don’t think about it.

Just let go…

 

Wake up.

 

It’s a new day.

Look at the sky

and see my face in the clouds.

 

That is what you are to me,

all that is above the earth,

all that is longed for yet untouchable;

You are my muse, my divinity.

 

Now, hope that I stay.

Hope I am not fickle.

Hope I do not cast you out of my world

And back to the place from whence you came.

 

You thought you were alive

Before I breathed my life into you,

But realize, without me,

Life is just a dull shade of gray.

Author's Note

A little darker than normal...but what's love and light without the occasional darkness?

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I agree with you, dark poems can sometimes make the best ones. Very nice poem, one of the better ones I read. Full of passion and emotion, those are my favorite ones.

"You thought you were alive Before I breathed my life into you,But realize, without me,Life is just a dull shade of gray."

GREAT CLOSING LINE. I LOVE THAT!! kind of reminds me of that song by Jill Scott "My love" ...where she is saying without her he is nothing, without her love.

thanks for sharing.

Kena

[Michael X]

Continually worthy of praise, effective and vibrant, a splash of color and emotion.
touching and sentimental, this writing has impacting feature that leaves the reader
feeling the depths of the heart and, many ways to look at the meaning, excellent job.

I love it dark.

And, I love the concept of ones recognition in their relationship. It is knowledge of their coexistence.

It plays well, got a good character here and good concept. Fundamentals are great, and portrays a great impact.

A wonderful piece.

[chord0]

Describes not just your love, but your mentor, goddess; or perhaps your child, warning them not to commit any wrongs, or you will send them back. A dark warning, a dark love indeed! Obvious message, although not always an obvious rhyme. Could be a haunting horror poem, perhaps the love of a vampire or ghost; or even a soul possessed by a demon: once I wrap my fingers around your soul... There is a horror group here, I am sure they will love it.
Great work, good luck
chord0

[MandarinOranges]

I'm gonna wager a guess that you've been in love at least a time or two. This poem reflects perfectly the feelings of falling face first into love. Excellent!

[Don Coorough]

Hmmm, darker? I dunno. It cuts like a knife in places though, that's for sure. OK, you had the falling in love is like a battle as your intro (similar to Love Is a Battlefield) so I threw in Cuts Like a Knife just for the fun of it.

I like the fight, you say... and encourage struggle - this is the essence of life, is it not?

You see your lover in the skies as muse and divinity, and say you want to be placed there too (see my face in the clouds), but remember, like Icarus found out, flying too close to the Sun can have its dangers too.

I'm playing with you here, but your writing still offers fascinating glimpses into your mind, heart, soul and creative flame. Keep burning!

-EllisD

[Fallen_Immortal]

Wow. This was great. At first the rhythm confused me, but oddly enough it all works out to fit in that mysterious web you created around the idea of "Love". Brilliant work. It's amazing how, from even the perspective of the one seducing, you've created the perfect feeling of desperation and terror, for sometimes that is how love is; at least, how THIS love is.

I'm still amazed. This is an incredible work. Keep pouring these out!

[Ralphy]

I'm happy Adela sent this read request.

What a thought provoking piece. Some many powerful statements and phases that just sweep a soul off one's feet. A commanding performance� "Surrender to me, take my hand and forget everything that you are." As we whimper beneath you.
Although, the analogy of Falling in love is not what "I "would call a battle instead for me it would be a desire to give myself� The forcefulness of this poem has an overpowering grip on the reader at least this reader. It's like I'm being drawn in and hand pick for just your lusting thoughts and dared to leave. "You thought you were alive before I breathed my life into you, But realize, without me, Life is just a dull shade of gray."
All I can say is�PICK ME!
It has a poetic aroma, and it makes me quivering as I type your review. Nice write

[Annalisa]

This was lovely, I really like the comparison of love as a battle. My favorite part of the poem was the beginning two stanzas. After that I felt like the poem sorta dropped off a little, it didn't hold me as much as the beginning and my mind began to wander, but I loved it none the less. Great work.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is a excellent read. Even with love there is darkness, a balance between.
This is my favorite stanzas: That is what you are to me,all that is above the earth,all that is longed for yet untouchable;You are my muse, my divinity
Those lines are very vivid and touchable. AD