In Spite Of

Living one place, being in another...dreaming...

 

Despite the rain,

that falls from a sky of unclear truths,

incandescent and torrential,

and pools in puddles that are

overflowing with oily paintings

of a starry scene that vaguely resembles heaven,

 

Despite the sound,

of an off-key chorus,

blending hollow symbols and drums,

in a manifestation of penetrating resonance

upon this rusted metal roof

that provides little protection,

 

Despite the streetlights,

unearthly beacons, haloed with mist, and

shining light devoid of color on

the park bench across the street, empty

save the carvings in its worn skin,

 

Despite all of these things,

I find myself standing in the sun,

listening to the sound of the surf

crashing upon a shore in my mind;

water lapping at my bare toes,

wind running fingers through my hair…

 

The bus is late again,

and my feet are cold and wet,

but today I’m dreaming of the sand,

the rich taste of an exotic drink,

and a curious smile that can only belong

to someone that I truly love.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

this is good ,very good ,it happens a lot ,we find ourselves in a place but we really live in mind and soul somewhere so faraway,dreamy and imaginative,our mind takes us away ,and we life like two lives in two places ,one in sheer contrast to the other ,i just loved the two ,so contrast,one is is so rainy and cold and desolate ,the other is sunny shiny and warm and you will not feel alone,but with the rich taste of a drink you can feel the curious smile of someone you truly loved,very dreamy and poetic feeling i really enjoyed every bit of it,just perfect

[kimberly]

awesome imagery and rythymn! i bet it sounds amazing read aloud.

[Brett Campaigne]

You're poem's descriptive value is excellent, the poem places you in the discomfort of the world around the narrator and the transcendent imagination that put her in a better place. The exposition of each stanza is used to great affect.

[emmajoy]

Re ading this is like looking at a series of paintings, e ach one t elling it s own sto ry in it s own time.

The last stanza is alm ost g entle, s o othing, very lo vely..

'The bus is late again,and my feet are cold and wet,but today I'm dreaming of the sand,the rich taste of an exotic drink,and a curious smile that can only belongto someone that I truly love.'

Thank you s o much for sharing.

[Shane William]

Wow. Solid visuals that fluidly hit me. And also nice structure. Reading it sort off brings back memos of deep thought.

[Satine]

You paint such lovely visuals, as always I envy your word selections. I like also that the title; "In Spite Of" is NOT the same phrase that appears at the beginning of stanzas 1-4. I think my favorite stanza would have to be the first stanza, it is divine. My only advice would be to possibly pare down the use of "and" throughout which would make the piece just a tad tighter but definately nevermind if you're happy with it.

Satine

[dilettante1890]

I love the sentiment in this--in spite of life's small cruelties and all the strange things, happiness can also be found.

[S.J.Floreen]

I love how you're so descriptive with your writing. This is a wonderful scene of someone waiting for something they want, or longing for it.

[JadedSparrow]

The imagery of this piece is captivating. It draws the reader in, or it least it drew me in. Very well written, I think I'll read another. Thank you for sharing.

[[untitled]]

I find it interesting how all the things that you describe that don't bring you pleasure still manage to sound beautiful. I guess it's just the way you paint the image. But then again, that makes the vision of beauty that you see all the more beautiful and resonant. I definitely see a collection of poems by you hitting the shelves someday soon. =)