Jazz

Something I wrote a short time ago...a little bit of music, a little bit of passion, a little bit of regret...

 

Chasing away temptation,

I try not to see your eyes,

through this smoky room,

wall-to-wall, bliss filled sanctum,

where jazz drips 

down red walls, and

trickles off of every table.

 

I dip my finger

in my drink,

absently stirring

what’s left of the liquor

while I stare at your shoes

to avoid your smile;

 

I lose myself in the high notes,

wanting to press into you

and rock to the rhythm,

head on your shoulder, hands

snug at the nape of your neck,

feeling your breath on my cheek,

anticipating your words,

as they growl low in my ear,

hanging on your intonation,

and shivering as your hands

become tangled in the loose

strands of my hair

while your kiss captures the sigh

just before it escapes my lips,

 

but instead I order another drink,

double confusion with a twist of regret,

and scold myself for being too responsible,

desperately desiring that lost sensation of ecstasy.

Reviews

[LSS]

This is romance without the man. A quiet piece of silent regret. Well done.
LSS

[After the Blackbird Sin..]

What an alluring poem. I can certainly see why someone wants to publish it. Great job.

[Gandré]

This is wonderful, Sarah. I just have read your recent news. I adored the spirit of this poem. Fantastic, how you are describing the innocent moments of a flirt and suddently all was music ! Congrat for getting it published.

[Jason Henry]

i got drunk with you as i read this exceptional poem! you definitely possess a talent some search a lifetime for...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I can feel the essence of a night club now as I read this... your words perfectly set the scene as though I was watching a classic movie... regrets are certainly a part of life and passion is what makes life worth living... wonderful work again my friend.

[.]

A good little poem. You capture the passion and regret quite well. The first stanza and last stanza are my favorites. They really create a unique image for the reader. What I would like to see is a little more of the jazz aspect in the middle section. I feel that it gets a little lost. It's really just a personal preference, because you do have it there. I just feel that the piece loses a little of the jazz aspect after the beginning stanza. A very interesting poem, one I enjoyed a lot.

[S.J.Floreen]

I love how you describe the music. It's so original!

[vindictivesunshine]

I got this one frame by frame, it was like being devoured by the want to be free but not being able to loose the chains.

The first stanza left me in a pupil dance. Hats off for another awesome job.

[[untitled]]

Another sensual one...though more of the heart rather than the body. Of course, it was all over for me before I started reading this one. An amalgam of jazz, love, and the mingling of both with perfect nonchalance, it speaks for itself.

"wall-to-wall, bliss filled sanctum,
where jazz drips
down red walls, and
trickles off of every table."
-This is without a doubt the best part. Just that imagery, and the feeling conveyed. I love it.

"while your kiss captures the sigh
just before it escapes my lips," - yes!!

[Angel's Lady]

while your kiss captures the sigh
just before it escapes my lips, -- Perfect!

double confusion with a twist of regret, -- That is indeed a powerful drink.

Very wonderful write. I did enjoy reading this.