Immortality

 

There was a time

when my heart clung tightly

to the security of the shore,

fingers dug deep in sand

that fell away with

each breaking wave…

 

There was a moment

when my heart refused to see

the beauty of the horizon,

the way the water melted,

in hues of pink and orange,

with a sky ablaze with divine light…

 

But now my soul is free,

in this moment here with you,

hands wound together in protest

of everything ugly and bitter

in a world that was made to test

the strength of our spirits.

 

In this challenge we have succeeded,

testing the limits of flesh and bone

and rising above everything except

the undeniable power of you and me.

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Well, I definitely can't match the review given by atomicorb, but then again, you know just as well as I do that I don't let my mind, but my spirit decide whether a poem speaks to me or not. This one sings to me, as if they were my own words spoken straight from the heart to be carried out by the hands. I don't know if I quite understand the sense of death that atomicorb has pointed out, but like they say in Highlander, "it's not about death, it's about life." Though maybe not in literal ways dealing with the body, but with the souls. That's what I think this poem is speaking about. I love it.

[Emily B]

This was a happy find. Your words flowed so sweetly. I would be jealous of your success, of your moment if it weren't so celestially beautiful. I've marked this as a favorite. I imagine I will find my way back here again and again.

[bluessadmood]

oh yes you are talking about life ,its sorrows sadness cruelty ,nothing is safe or immune and you just knew this you would never look at the beauty of the water melted in hues of pink and orange with the sky ablaze,no even to that divine scene you would not look,but now that you are here we stand together in protest of everything that is ugly and bitter,yes love will make us beautiful and strong ,in face of the shakes and turbulence of this unpredictable life ,love will make us strong ,never heeding life and its pitiful accidents ,yes for are in love and we are strong,just great ,again and again

[KUFU]

You wrote...

"hands wound together in protest
of everything ugly and bitter"

...found or stumbled upon love often destroys the ugly. You illustrate this beautifully with this defiant little couplet. I like the way you succinctly wrote this poem. In the poets life, love and divinity upon myriad seashores was a mere fleeting suggestion, but in death, this shinning is made permanent via a...well, death grip...hehe.
Amazing how you interpreted the petrified image. I find glyphs to be great precursors/provokers to well penned poetry.
When read on the surface the poem seems contradictory in nature. The photo helps with the understanding. I must confess, without the photo I would have been a bit lost since death is not overtly implied. This is not to say you did not convey the concept of Romeo and Julietian tragedy, it would just take a discerning eye to identify it. The lines,

"the strength of our spirits.

In this challenge we have succeeded,
testing the limits of flesh and bone
and rising above everything except..."

...brings the splendid morbidity of this piece to light.