Unrestrained

 

Delicate,

like the mouth

of an orchid,

sipping the sun

for the very first time,

 

delicate is my heart

 

I breathe the scent

of ocean spray and

feel my soul

expanding

pressing at my skin

until, heavy and thick,

almost inhumanly restrictive,

I shed the shell that conceals

my feverish essence,

 

until I am free

 

to wander the restless shores

as a being without convention,

where my words marry the wind

and become the voice of seabirds,

the song of swaying grasses,

and the private thoughts

that land like raindrops

on the lips of lovers

just before they kiss.

Reviews

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Well...I'm jelly. I don't even know how to explain it. The language you use, especially in the first and last verses is so poetically beautiful. Where do words like these come from? This kind of imagery, these descriptions, I have tried to emulate this kind of language in my own writing, and I just can't do it.

"and the private thoughts
that land like raindrops
on the lips of lovers
just before they kiss."

Seriously, where does this come from? How do you find words like these and mix them so they come out so perfectly placed as to create this kind of imagery? I love how you mold and fit pictures of nature to coincide with that of the connection and intimacy between lovers. I like that feeling that I get when reading words like these.

[Gordon]

What I found interesting about this piece is your first stanza was short and simple, not overly descriptive but right on the money, using only 19 words. Then the passion builds more in the second stanza as does the word count, 36 here. Then finally, the last stanza is 44 words but is so brilliantly worded that it felt like 70 words. The swelling of the stanzas matches the arousal within the reader which is masterful.

BEST LINES:
where my words marry the wind
and become the voice of seabirds,
the song of swaying grasses,
and the private thoughts
that land like raindrops
on the lips of lovers
just before they kiss.

GREAT JOB... yet again.

[Adrian K. Smith]

I do not know that I could tap into the sheer elemental imagery that you provide in so many of your pieces. The best example of what I am trying to say would be this for most people:

You see a rock. Now draw the rock.

I could not draw the rock.
Your drawing would make the rock jealous.

[KUFU]

AHHHH...a sweet release indeed.

[Gandré]

hey, this was something! I loved the ending. really really I am melting. hmm the sort of poetry that has my eyes still glued to it after reading it, so I need to re-read again and again..... love. "where my words marry the windand become the voice of seabirds," -------what can be stronger? ahhh my heart.

[Shirley Petrandis]

Absolutely beautiful! Your use of metaphors is very creative and moving.
Very nice work.
Shirley Petrandis

[MagicHearted Knight]

You are very gifted in not only your style but ablity as well.

[Lalli]

*snap snap*

this poem is elequoently romantic.
I"m very impressed the descriptive matephors used to portray the delicacy of your heart and the breathe of freedom. wow..

all tied together beautifully with my favorite line in the whole poem "where my words marry the wind" to finish strong with a pwerful romantic twist!

i will certianly be reading more of your work

magnificent!

much love n respect

-Lalli

[S.J.Floreen]

This is wonderfully beautiful. Very nice job with imagery and the words flow so beautifully.

[Satine]

So...after the third read-thru the word(s) to describe this piece would have to be...stunning. Make no mistake, there are other words that apply as well such as; serene, floaty, beautiful, remarkably soft, etc. but I'm sticking to "stunning".

Satine