Temptation

 

This nightly sacrament...

 

Of dimming lights

and wine stained lips,

breathes me closer to you,

like gusts of wind across

a sea of lovesick souls,

where your winsome heart

calls to me like a distant melody

 

small mysteries, tiny temptations

 

burning at candle speed,

slowly consuming me

with a serenade of words

meant only for my soul. 

Reviews

[Gandré]

this is absolutely adorable and wonderful. such a sweet mystery itself! "burning at candle speed,
slowly consuming me" -----------this is what I absolutely loved. This was I thought a psychological poem, exhilarating journey which plunges into the dark recesses of woman's psyche, we wish it to be like this. this was a feast of a poem.

[Dani California]

OH MY!
You have reached in and taken
visions, thoughts right out of my mind,
my heart, my imagination.

How remarkably clairvoyant of you :-D lol.

Truly, this is a remarkable piece.
It really is amazingly accurate to
my own mind's journey ... funny how
that works.

Your writing style is fabulous.
The flow is so gentle.. pulls
the reader in ....drifting along
effortlessly with its words.

The imagery you've painted
carresses the soul..

Beautiful poem! Indeed...

[S.J.Floreen]

I love how your poetry seems to flow. It's so beautifully done.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is very mysterious and beautiful... those little temptations awaiting around every corner for us.

You've created a world wind of images in my head now.

[Rachael]

this is lovely. it made me imagine a coffee table, cushions on a timber floor, a laptop and an empty wine glass. i think its amazing that i got such a different sense from this poem than heretic.

its beautiful that one poem can evoke different images for the different people that read it. i think it shows that you have the power to reach inside people and trigger what is meaningful to them with your words, and thats what the best writing is all about.

thanks for this :)

[Heretic]

Your words are nicely put. Its short, but I can get a sense of the temptation you write of.

It is well written. I have no complaints about it. For some reason, when I read this I get an image of an outside restaurant, at night under the moons light, located on the beach. I realize not single word you wrote describes this, but thats the image I get.

I especially like the bit "small mysteries, tiny temptations". To me that says that it is the mystery of meeting someone new that makes you gravitate toward them. Its the mystery that makes others attractive.

[[untitled]]

THis truly is beautifully penned....wow it was very nicely done. I have no complaints about it..
you really should come over to my site i think you might enjoy it
http://theblackseal.ning.com/

[Vanessa]

The stanzas made the words sound fabulous here. Not only is
some knowledge of vocabulary known here, but the way that
everything fits is completely and irrevocably perfect.

--vk

[[untitled]]

How strange, the first line practically clubbed me over the head. "nightly sacrament" - I like these two words. It brings an exaltedness to something that isn't usually exalted in spoken words.

Besides the first line, the last four are my favorite. Spiritual!! That's the word I'm looking for. You convey a sense of spirituality to the act that is usually lost in most people's minds. That's what I like the most about this poem. It looks deeper, past the physical, pushing further into the part of us that is usually neglected.

The shortness of this one is good too. You don't waste a lot of words but use few to describe all. There's also a feeling of romantic naughtiness to this poem, and I think that's tantalizing to the reader as well.