Salvation

 

Sand slips through glass…

minutes pass like tiny eternities

where you and I can recite our lives

in the time it takes for one grain to fall.

 

Still we find ourselves near the end,

a tragedy worthy of the quill

of Shakespeare himself, and we

sit quietly behind these broken windows

trying to trace away the past

in order to draw the future.

 

Within an off-handed promise

of our words meeting after a year of silence

lays the doorway to a labyrinth of chance

where one path leads to certain death

and the next to blissful salvation.

Reviews

[Vanessa]

There are a few things in particular that caught my attention, things that I'll take the time to point out.
Firs of all, the words are ordered in ways that make them sound godly when read or spoken. I liked that.
Second, the end of the second stanza was smile-worthy, for it had some weird intensity about the simple words. Another thing, I liked the title, as it's rather succint, in that it describes everything without it being a word in the poem itself.
I'd like to read a story of yours, if you ever do write one. And if you do, be sure to send me a read request, for I would gladly review :)

--vk

[Carl]

I liked this peice. I like it because it starts halfway through a situation. I can see these two people at a table in a resturant. One would assume that they were "once together" and the year apart has brought with it a frosty calm where each one recites their life in the time it takes one grain of sand to fall. I liked the tradegy of the peice and the reference to Shakespear and the assumption that this is classic thearte. The best peice of the poem is tracing the past to draw the future - GENIUS. But the sand still slips from the glass and silence is the loudest voice. we are left wondering if the two people in this peice are left wanting different things one wanting closure and the certain death of the relationship. The other looking for a glint or just a glimmer of salvation great first read, KUdos

[[untitled]]

"and we sit quietly behind these broken windows..." god, I love lines like this. The symbolism is just...aahhh!! Incredible. lol. I can totally visualize this poem in my mind. I love it. "minutes pass like tiny eternities..." -this is just about where my head explodes. lol.
I like the feel of this poem, and the flowing of words. I wish I could write poetry like this.