The Story of Anima

Life as it is and was, told by Life itself.

The Story of Anima

Movements are made for the first time, erratic, random movements, with no thought or concept to their purpose. There is no smell, sight, sound, taste nor the feeling of anything. There are no parts capable of feeling sensations. Just the force of what it was I knew had to be done. Keep trying. There is no understanding to what reason or why. Just as a thoroughly trained soldier raises his weapon at the first detection of a threat in battle. The well-trained soldier does not consciously decide to raise his weapon; in the split second it takes for the soldier to react it may not even be understood what or why they are doing so. Developed thought can not form in these fleeting moments of involuntary movement. It is through devote repetition that the movement becomes instinctive upon the sign of a threat. Synapses burst to life, sending the soldier to this natural position, this is not thought. Merely it is doing. It is not understanding of any degree, simply action and reaction. That split moment of just doing, when the body takes control over the mind, this is how it felt at the beginning. There was(is) nothing, for eternity; devoid of time... Then from a seemingly endless blank came a burst of glorious movement, nothing capable of being expressed through any word from a language of waves. This sudden burst of.. something, was the most venomously painful, yet the most enchanting euphoric experience. Both so incredible and horrible that their edges of the utmost extreme reached beyond that of possible explanation or comprehension. Both dependent on each other to exist, forming a circle of duality in every manifestation of this world. In equal parts this force bears down on the most simplest of existence, while not feelings as we would call them, it was merely the only thing. Nothing else could be chosen after the initial flood of everything that is this plane. From then we knew only existence. For without it, there is nothing. Coming into existence as something that can experience its entirety at its most simplest form was not enough. Fleeting and momentary was the rush of the powers of existence, here, whispering its intoxicated enchantments, then gone. Similar to being grabbed by the mighty currents of a flooded river, existence ripped us into its flow, the celestial constant of time. Time which brings an end to all and opens equal beginnings. It was then that I first saw the importance of the cycle, duality spread equally. To exist here it was clear the only path was to enter this cycle of everything that ever was. Experience the excruciating pain of deaths grips, just to feel the warmth of life slowly raise from the ashes We experienced life and death, trial and error, upon a merely infinite scale. A trickling stream of water winds its path down a hill of dirt, it will choose the path of least resistance; this is how we came to be. Water does not wind a path down because it possesses conscious thought of where its course lies. Water flows, moving where it is most easy to do so. The physical barriers and dangers of our surroundings are what exactly decides which path is the one of least resistance. As we expanded and were given different parameters, paths, environments, we chose millions of different routes. Some failing, stopping abruptly in their tracks, while others continue on to this present moment. With life came more chances to change, change to ensure our existence is not wiped by the tidal wave of our never-ending cage and freedom. Through this fear of nothing, we gained the unquenchable thirst and desire to live.
We lived the life of the smallest amoeba and the largest mammals, and everything in between. We are all one, dependent upon one another to continue our existence. All of the same essence trying to never be condemned back to an obsidian eternity. All knowing it's own place and purpose to ensure a constant flow of life. For without this existence, there is nothing. No happy, no sad, no pain or pleasure, tastes, touch anything. Only the most darkest abyss of absolute nothing that cannot even manifest itself in any form of understanding we can comprehend other than 'zero.' This is why we strived, constantly changing in this existence that never stops nor wavers in its unrelenting march forward... None of this could be dwelled upon. There were no means to sit back and understand how or why; for all that we did was just what could be done to fight away the unthinkable. A constant search, spreading over the possibilities of existence as water searches, spreading through the holes of a pumice stone sinking into a body of water. Spreading out through all holes equally and fully. It was mutually understood through out all of our equal manifestations, and for those that this understanding fell upon 'deaf ears,' they were surely discontinued from the constant stomp forward of us. Once their path can go no farther it must end or split ways. Over time the possibilities and combinations grew more complex, making survival much easier. Adaptations to change something for better or worse. Growing upon those that continued and cutting out that which didn't. Through these constantly extending chains leading on through the dark, dropping links and adding them where they will hold their strength, a being that can not just experience and react, but question how and why this world works. This created conscious thought, beginning the separation of the web of constantly growing knowledge that is all of us. No longer does all life grow and learn in unison, but one piece of life broke off to learn exponentially more in a mere lifetime than that of the only method we knew since the first emergence. Trial and error.

We still understood our place at the beginning; this newly bestowed weapon against the perpetual progression of change and motion. The ability to adapt through observing and understanding, as oppose to feeling through the dark, spreading over all possibilities equally, every new manifestation changing ever so slightly due to the dirt hill that lies in front of it. This gift gave us the ability to adapt in real world time, and we did. The transfer of knowledge through waves, as oppose to matter, expedited our ability to learn for the next generation, to better it exponentially. This growth separated us from our true consciousness. The potential we all posses to acclimate to the next adaptation no longer ruled over the body. It was not needed by this creature of individual thought. From there a schism was formed; all of our understanding from the dawn of experience, and it's continued slow steady march onward with its everlasting ceaseless temptress, Time. The other.. a being split from its purpose, its place in the very existence that it rests its soul within. Only knowing what it can perceive and understand. So it did what all of us would do. Exist, and survive, the best way it was capable of doing. Blinded by an explosion of connections, understandings, experiences; we focused on living in this fabricated world of mans construction, separating our kind from the intertwining web of endless perfection, always forming the synchronized connection while still moving into infinite possibilities. The more we grew the more we controlled, erasing all that decides our path down the hill and choosing our own; consumption of the hill in its entirety. We learned how to survive through just this one adaptation, making two separate beings of the same essence and origins. All individuals of a single being, exponentially growing and gathering knowledge faster with each split into separate, broken pieces. This new tool, intelligence, continues to broaden the schism farther and farther. Each side continues to grow, but they are not synchronized for they are not on the same consciousness. Intelligence grows like a tumor; a single strand of web from the ever-branching connections of our roots that spread out to where it wanted and not to what was necessary, spreading unchecked by the system established. Growing and growing, cutting off what would be the most intricate harmonized connection of Life, connecting in ways that cannot be seen nor heard. Forming perfect harmony an a scale smaller than the quantum realm. Intelligence caused a ripple in the perfectly synchronized balance, disrupting and dismembering it by conquering and destroying all that cross its path. Anima, it is what we exist for. Life. Here I stand, on the severed side of the schism, watching and wondering. Will we merely be wisps of smoke, there for a fleeting second and then gone, or will the schism be sealed and the relentless dance of time with life and death continue onward to never release the only thing that matters. For all that we have been, are today, and will continue to be.. may the song that our Mother Anima and Father Time dance away to play indefinitely.

Author's Note

There will be many revisions, consider it a work in progress. I just want to know if you think it's worth pursuing.