Black & Grey

I look down and I am silent,
up again and
    I am free.
I am free and
    I am dead,
crushed beneath the weight of a world
    that never really understood.
I'm a cold, empty shell,
and the little piece that's left of me
    is void and unafraid,
looking to mingle but far too empty
to put itself back on track.

 

Death is waking up to realize that
entire ephocs of life have
    burned and blown away
like ashes in the wind;
what remains is left
    to steer the ship back upstream,
    against the odds and against
    the waves that crush
our succulent, malnourished shells like grapes,
leaving us juice-deprived and stuck forever
    on the bottoms of dirty soles.

 

My thoughts too are mashed-
mashed and grinded like
pie filling, whipped and manipulated until
finally they reaches a maximum;
I sit nonchalantly by,
    watching them poured from the top of the ladder
    to the bottom of the universe and
   (smiling)
praying that the fall isn't too severe.
I wrack my mind, wondering nervously about the length
and horror of this ride and thinking about how wonderful
getting off would truly be.

 

I look down in utter silence,
up again and
    I am free.
I can no longer feel the sky closing in
and the once-mechanical drone 
is replaced by mumbling spectators,
living, dying,
and alls they've gots ta say is
gone. Silence, their silence,
is blown away like stray erasure marks,
leaving behind a clean slate and with it,
the chance to start anew.

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"Death is waking up to realize that
entire ephocs of life have
burned and blown away "

"I wrack my mind, wondering nervously about the length
and horror of this ride and thinking about how wonderful
getting off would truly be."


those were my two favorite passages. i also liked the slight repition you created at the beinning and end with looking up and down and silence. :)

funny how both of our poems end with hope.... hopeless, aren't we? hehe

[J. Alfred Prufrock]

very interestingly done. i like the concept behind this and the creative description. well done, my friend

[L. L. Jacobson]

Dear Chas,
Man, this was so cool:

look down and I am silent,
up again and
I am free.
I am free and
I am dead,

(I felt like I was on an old-fashioned, antique carousel, and there was fancy classical music in the background)- only it echoes that sad state of mind, depression- and the reality of knowing you know everything and yet nothing at all.

p.s.- the start of a new period in the history of anything is grand.

[Avoiry]

beautiful as always , your words paint a potrait of life .

[Erik Bergstrom]

This poem shows your growth not only as a writer but as a person. Once again you have captivated with your words. Great job.

Hope things work out with your mother. My thoughts are with you.

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

This is great. I like how in the first three groupings you have overwhelming despair but a small glimmer of hope, almost too small to make a difference. In the last grouping all your negative voices are silenced and that small glimmer has won through. This poem holds great beauty. I also like your image... Is she going to pour that pot like you say your thoughts are poured from the top of a ladder?

Mostly I enjoyed this because of how I relate to it. Thanks for sharing this with me.