Keep the last line! I like this, it's short and to the point, and reflects meaning in a relatively short amount of time (something I fail to do, so you've earned my respect!) Since it appears you like rhyming, have you ever tried sonnets? something tells me you'd be good at them. They're a bit difficult to pick up at first but you'd get the hang of it. Good job! A bit longer wouldn't have hurt though. Perhaps letting the reader explore a little more what the subject is feeling? Other than that, fantastic. Keep it up!
Keep the last line! I like this, it's short and to the point, and reflects meaning in a relatively short amount of time (something I fail to do, so you've earned my respect!) Since it appears you like rhyming, have you ever tried sonnets? something tells me you'd be good at them. They're a bit difficult to pick up at first but you'd get the hang of it. Good job! A bit longer wouldn't have hurt though. Perhaps letting the reader explore a little more what the subject is feeling? Other than that, fantastic. Keep it up!
Hello, my name is Chris. I just post the stuff I wrote in my notebook when I ran away home a little while ago when trying to run away from depression, ptsd, and what all caused it all. I'm dead inside.. more..