Apology

Just a poorly made apology that was on my mind.

I apologize to my family 

For not helping out

I can’t even get out

I hope you understand

The sadness pins me to the bed

It’s all in the head

I hope you understand

I apologize to everyone who left

I could have been a better friend

I’m sorry I was too afraid to take you out

Go places with you

Let you go places

Anxiety controlled me

Fear was my only guide

I’m sorry for being irrational 

Irrationality was a side effect of my illness

I’m sorry for what I call poetry 

It isn’t what I want it to be

Forgive me

For I can not forgive myself