My Will

My will is the sand 

From a sad child's sand box

Minuscule  dots that create a whole

Pain takes form in gusts of wind

That silently comes and blows

Scattering my faith into the air

Releasing the cage, making me free

No longer grounded to yesterdays pain

While new thoughts combust in frenzy 

Emerging tomorrows fear of falling  

Reviews

[Brenden Taylor]

Ooh...some nice and solid imagery here. And I like theme of absurdity you present - that is, the grain of sand being released into the air only to return back to the ground (whether or not it's back to the box, who knows, doesn't matter).

One question, though: which is the pain: the placement of the grain within the sandbox, or the wind that changes the placement? I ask because the pain is initially described as "gusts of wind"; but then a few lines down, it's described as "yesterday's pain", which I take to represent the sandbox. So I ask again: which is which?

90, and I expect more.

P.S. Don't be afraid of possessive punctuation...that is, if you use it once, don't be afraid to follow through.

[Jimmy Angel]

I read some of your other works! Keep up the good job!!

[Sporadic Soul]

And I'm captivated by your choice of words. I've been reading your poems and they're all great. I just love them!

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is an interesting concept. Nicely done.

[joshua sky]

This is fantastic. Such an interesting concept of the human will being sand...outstanding imagery. Thank you for this.

[Linda alexander]

There is no break from one form of discomfort or another always there until you die, so who will give credit to those people trying hard with poems like the key, tomorrow is the new bright day, that is the key, loved your poem, described the situation very clearly, reader can always read other poems for the solutions

[Samwam]

Wow. Such powerful words flow deep.

[MrKnowAll]

So there is this endless cycle of fear emerging after breaking free from the old one, and the power to deal with it, the "will" isn't strong enough it's too weak, and it's compared to the sand f a sad child's playground.
The poem describes a very sad situation and doesn't offer any solution, leaving the readers, I to think - is there one? or this the meaning of life, to face everyday a new challenge , or does it even have to do with challenge? maybe it's just a feeling that came by surprise?

so many questions :)