Chapter 27

It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. It's hard to stay positive when nothing goes right.

Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what is going to happen next.

I will look up and smile. But just not today.

The sky is dark and grey, like it is mirroring my feelings. I am waiting for the sun to come out from behind the clouds and from out of me. I want to be happy again, I just don't know when...

Days blurred into weeks and eventually three weeks had passed since I started living with Oliver.

Jordan could see how distant I was, Eve tried saying things, but she stopped as she was afraid she was going to say the wrong thing. Oliver acted normal to keep me sane.

Eventually Oliver sat me down at his home, gave me a pen and told me to start writing my feelings down into poems.

They started to be depressing, but as time moved on I finally came to a realization. This event is in my past and I need to do everything I can to get back up and walk passed this sorrow with my head held high. I am the author of my life. Unfortunately I am writing in pen and can't erase the mistakes.

Confused as I am, I smile everyday, but behind the smile burns the pain.

Life takes its twist and turns, and some of my actions drive me insane.

Curious about everything, and trying to grow up too fast.

I get hurt along the way and have regrets about my past.

Battling the lost part of me that seems to have been broken away

Struggling hard to find the light, but to darkness and concerns my mind always strays

No regrets, no mistakes, they are part of who I am

But I'm taunted and haunted, I'm trapped in this place

No walls to explore, to escape from my terror I need to open a door

Afraid to take the leap, afraid of what might come

My heart pounds longing for freedom

As I take a hesitant step towards change

I keep my memories and my hope and pray they remain the same

So now I count my rainbows and not my thunderstorms

Learning from my mistakes and moving on.

Opening my eyes from the blinding light, I got up and stretched.

"Morning," Oliver greeted me as usual.

"Morning," I greeted back.

I went to the bathroom, had a shower and put on a light pink dress.

Oliver walked past me as I walked out the bathroom, he turned to look at me again.

"You're not wearing black," he commented.

"I have decided that I can't just sot here and mop...People die and I have to move on with my life."

That's when Oliver tackled me into a hug, "I was so scared I lost you Cece."

I giggled. "You never lost me."

"I felt I did. It seemed like some loom and gloom chick took over."

"I was there underneath, trying to find my way back."

"Next time someone dies Cece, promise me you will come back. Come back to life instead of moping."

"I don't know..."

"Cece, promise me."

I sighed, "Okay I promise, next time someone dies or if something bad happens that I will continue to live my life."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "I better get ready, we are running late." He ran off to get read and I just stood there in the hallway blushing.

He just kissed my forehead, was the only thing I could think about. Then I though about Jordan...he must be feeling like crap for losing me for three weeks.

"Hey Jordan," I said taking his hand, he looked down at his hand in mine and then at me.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he mumbled.

"Then smile," I grinned at him.

He sighed. "Why did you decide to stay at Oliver's house and not mine?"

"Well in a life and death situation I ran to the closest house,Jordan. I didn't really get a chance to think of that."

"You could have moved in with me after though."

"Yeah well, I haven't really been in the right mind set the last three weeks."

Jordan sighed again.

"I released his hand from mine. "What is it now?"

"Cece..."

"What?"

"I...I don't know how to say this."

"Say what?"

"I think we should see other people."

"You're...you're breaking up with me?"

"I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"I can't love you! You always choose my brother over me."

"Oliver is my friend. And I don't choose him over you! I am right here with you right now."

He shook his head. "I have fallen out of love with you Cece."

"Well then it's a good thing that I was never in love with you," I said with venom in my voice. Walking over towards Eve, Abigail and Oliver.

'Hey, what's wrong?" Oliver asked me.

I didn't answer him, I just wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his chest.

"Cece?"

"Jordan dumped me."

"What a d-"

"Don't call him that."

"But her hurt you."

"So?"

He shook his head and hugged me. "I's going to be okay Cece."

Oliver was playing on his guitar and I knocked on his door.

He stopped playing when I entered the room and had a curious expression on his face.

"Mind if I give you company?"

He smiled.

I smiled back and sat on the bed beside him and watched him play the guitar.