One wish

If I had one wish

I would wish

To not feel so alone in this world

 

If I had one wish

I would wish

That I would always gain friends rather than lose them

 

If I had one wish

I would wish

That I wouldn't be the outcast....

 

If I had one wish

I would wish

That things were easier rather than harder...

 

If I had one wish

I would wish

That I could disappear....forever

Reviews

[Bullet Soul]

This was a pretty good poem for the most part. The feelings of the writer in this piece are quite easy for the reader to relate to, which would make this poem enjoyable for a lot of people. You were able to put your own emotions into a poem that would reach others emotional side as well, which is definitely a good thing.

The one thing you could improve about this poem also involves emotion. I think it would be much more enjoyable to read if you were to describe these emotions more thoroughly. For example, why do you, as the writer, wish you could disappear? Why do you feel as if you are alone in this world? What does being alone feel like, what does feeling the need to disappear feel like?

State the emotions you are feeling, but also describe them. If you do this, you'll get people thinking a lot more than you have, and the poem will be even easier to relate to than it already is.

[~Angelic~]

Thank you both for the review, and I do realize what you guys are talking about. I may edit this poem and go more in depth with it and describe the emotions. Thanks guys!

[Thorn]

One wish?
I would wish for chocolate.
Mmmm....

Anyway, it was good. The last line of the fourth verse doesn't seem to flow right, though, and you needed to explain things maybe a little more.
But still nice. A very nice poem. Well done!