The Tale of Lucky and The Weasel

A fan-fiction for the Terry Pratchett DiscWorld series.

 

The setting is Terry Pratchett's DiscWorld, but does not use any of his characters (After I wrote this, I realized there IS a character called The Weasel in one of the DiscWorld books.  Sorry, my bad).  I may have these characters interact in later stories.  This story takes place in the bustling city of Ankh-Morpork, in a district known as The Shades.  No sane person would visit The Shades and you definitely don't want to get lost there...

 

The Tale of Lucky and The Weasel

 

  The little black cat lay across her Mistress's shoulder. This was her favorite place to be. She could see everything from this vantage point, she didn't have to get her paws dirty in the filthy streets, and she could snuggle in her Mistress's long, dark hair. The little cat blended in quite nicely and most people didn't even notice her. The woman stopped suddenly, which didn't disturb the cat known as Velvet. She was the epitome of grace and never fell off of anything. Besides, her unusually long, sharp claws helped in that matter and her Mistress had wisely sewn thick pads into the shoulders of her black cloak. Velvet felt something pass from her Mistress- annoyance tinged with just a hint of fear. Velvet opened her eyes.

  “Hey now, what's a pretty lady like you doin' all alone in The Shades?” sneered the man blocking the woman's path. “Lanky” would be a polite description for the scrawny creature currently addressing Midnight Van Horne. He was tall and incredibly thin, looking as if he hadn't eaten in a week, or two, or three. Midnight narrowed her eyes. She knew this type was usually stronger than they looked, even though this one looked as if a strong breeze could send him tumbling down the street. The man grinned, exposing a mouth full of jumbled teeth that seemed too long to fit in his mouth. Midnight smothered a laugh, all traces of fear now gone. The man looked like a lawn rake! “We just want your valuables.” the rake indicated the “we” by waving his knife toward his companion who was lurking in the shadows. The second man was smaller and had the look of a hungry rat. His black, beady eyes constantly darted this way and that, taking everything in. His face was pocked with acne scars, which gave the impression of rat whiskers. He seemed a bit more intelligent than his companion, which wasn't saying much. He was currently watching the cat on Midnight's shoulder. His head was cocked to one side as if he was trying to remember something. His musings were interrupted by the Lawn Rake addressing him with “Isn't that right, Weasel? We just want the valuables and we won't harm the lady none, right?” The man blessed with the title of "Weasel" looked extremely nervous. “I don't know, Lucky. I heard something from the Thieves Guild about a woman with a black cat on her shoulder. They're dangerous and  aren't supposed to be touched!” Weasel urgently whispered to his companion. “I ain't a member of no guild and they can't tell me what to do!” snapped the rake called Lucky. He really must be lucky since he obviously wasn't too bright and yet, he had survived as a non-licensed thief in the city of Ankh-Morpork. The Thieves Guild frowned upon competition and usually dealt with it in a rather severe, and fatal, manner.

  Velvet snapped open her eyes and glared at the two men interrupting her nap. She rose gracefully to her feet and stretched in a way that only cats can stretch (apparently, cats are made of some strange sillyputty-like substance that allows them to stretch far beyond their normal shapes, then resume said shape with no ill effects. Don't try this at home, kids.) Velvet settled herself more comfortably on her Mistress's shoulder and focused her attention on the two men that had interrupted her nap. She gazed at them with a smug little expression.

  Weasel started to back toward one wall of the alley, his eyes focused on the cat. He didn't like the way the it was looking at him. Those glittering, golden eyes were far more reptilian than feline. And it was grinning like a wolf! Eyes wide with terror, Weasel muttered, “All the Thieves Guild found was a pile of ash and a half-melted ring. The ring looked like the one Marcus Quicksilver always wore...” before Lucky told him to shut up. “It's just a woman and a stupid cat! What's wrong with you, Weasel?” Lucky ignored his cowering friend and advanced on the woman. His dim little brain told him something was wrong, he just couldn't figure out what. He just wanted to get this robbery over with and go get a beer. “C'mon lady, give me your valuables and hurry it up!” snapped Lucky, turning the knife so the light glittered on it, at least the little bit of light that was currently available in The Shades. “I don't want to hurt you, but I won't lose any sleep over it if I do have to cut you.” he chuckled.

  Velvet's attention shifted from the man cowering against the wall, the one who appeared to need a change of trousers, to the taller human who was waving a knife under Mistress's nose. This man was threatening Mistress! The nerve of this fool! Velvet took a deep breath...

  Lucky noticed something odd- the little black cat seemed to have puffed up to twice it's normal size. It looked like a little furry football. He leaned forward out of curiosity “What's wrong with your...?” and a thin, golden flame erupted from the cat's mouth. The blaze engulfed the man called Lucky and also caught Weasel, who was fervently wishing he was part of the brickwork of the wall and not really here at all.

  After the smoke cleared, there was nothing but a sooty outline against the wall where Weasel had stood, and only a pile of ash remained where the ill-fated Lucky ceased to be lucky. Velvet licked her paw like an ordinary cat, then extended her talons and stretched her wings. They resembled bat wings covered in a fine layer of velvet, which is how she got her name. When her wings were folded at her sides, they blended in amazingly well. Even if Velvet didn't appear perfectly normal, who would pay attention to a cat in a city full of cats? “Thank you, Velvet. You are such a help.” Mistress Midnight cooed as she scratched under Velvet's chin. “Let's be on our way. Hopefully, there won't be any more interruptions.”

Author's Note

I may continue this story with Midnight(aka Middie) looking for her friend Igorina. There are Igors and Igorinas on the DiscWorld. They usually work for mad scientists and all have the same name, but can apparently tell each other apart. Middie is from an old Uberwald family, and her mother thought Midnight was a suitably spooky, Gothic name. Middie is, however, a disappointment to her family because she is ordinary. Her family tree is full of vampires, werewolves, witches, and mad scientists. Middie's mother gave her a black velvet cloak for her birthday and Middie decided to brighten it up a bit by sewing pink silk on the inside and embroidering little flowers and bunnies on the hem. Her family just can't figure her out. Her cat, Velvet, was a present from her mad scientist uncle Oslo.