Loneliness

Angela has made more friends, but is still lonely. What is missing from her life?

   Since Gustafa had given me an open invitation, I made a habit of spending my evenings at his house.  He lived in an unusual structure called a yurt.  It reminded me of a small circus tent, especially since there were strange designs painted all over the outside.  There were colorful flowers, mysterious eyes, and many enigmatic symbols.  Gustafa liked to travel, and a yurt was easy to move.  The inside had a support pole in the center and odd, criss-crossed pieces of wood supporting the walls.  Gustafa lived simply, and his furniture reflected his lifestyle.  There was a low table and a few cushions scattered around the floor, a futon, and a dresser.  The rest of the space was filled with musical instruments that Gustafa had collected from all over the world.  Gustafa quickly became my best friend.  He was laid-back and fun to be around, and I loved to listen to his music.  We would often sit outside during the hot summer, and he would play his guitar in his favorite spot under a nearby tree.  Sometimes, the elusive Nami would quietly appear and listen to Gustafa play.  Apparently, Gustafa knew a little about Nami, and he gave me some tips on how to win her friendship.  

   I spent an entire week hurrying through my farm chores, just so I could wander around town and talk to the locals.  I was really trying hard to make friends.  I don't know why I put so much effort into making friends since I was only staying for the summer.  I think I just missed my friends back home and I was feeling a bit lonely. I decided to follow the local custom of giving presents to people.  When in Rome, do as the Romans do.  Most of the locals enjoyed little, inexpensive things like wildflowers and wild herbs which were easy to find.  On one of my flower-hunting trips, I discovered that an archeologist and his assistant were excavating a site up by the waterfall.   I was intrigued and decided to investigate. 

    Carter and Flora were both really nice and showed me how to dig for artifacts. Carter was a somewhat stern-looking gentleman with dark hair and glasses.   He was a fairly handsome man, but he probably wasn't much younger than my father had been.   Carter's assistant, Flora, was a lovely woman with wavy blond hair and unusual lavender eyes.  They both asked me to come by anytime and help them dig.  At first, I wasn't too interested.  I would rather spend my time making friends.  Then I realized that Carter would let me keep anything I excavated that he didn't need.  I suddenly had a new source of income, since I could sell the artifacts.  Also, many of the locals, including Nami,  loved these items as gifts.  By working at the dig site, I could make friends with Carter and Flora, I could earn some spending money, and I could give some of the items to people as presents.  I would end up with a lot of friends in no time at all! 

    A few nights later, I was finishing up some last minute chores around the farm.   I stared up at the night sky and suddenly felt overwhelmingly alone.  What was wrong with me?  I had already made a few new friends, but I still felt incomplete.  "Why am I always searching for something?  For someone?" I asked the sky, the air, the stars.  For some reason, I kept comparing all the local singles.  Too young, too old, too...odd.  I smiled to myself as I thought of Daryl, the town's resident "Mad Scientist".  He had thick glasses, bloodshot eyes, unkempt hair, and a perpetually manic air about him.  He was so jittery, it seemed like he would explode at any moment.  Daryl was doing some sort of research to find a clean, limitless source of energy.  He had electrocuted himself twice since I had moved to town.  I admired his tenacity, since he just kept on trying, no matter how many experiments went wrong.  I liked the fact that he was so intelligent, but he was awkward around people and just a little too weird for me.  My thoughts turned to Marlin.  We were getting along fairly well, even with his shyness.  He was actually quite handsome, but he seemed more interested in Celia than in me.  Rock was completely out of the question!  Cody was intelligent and creative, and was a nice looking guy once you got past the 'war paint' and mohawk.  The problem was that Cody never seemed interested in anything except his art.  I probably could have stood naked in front of him and he would have simply thought I'd make a nice model for a sculpture!  I'm not sure Cody even had hormones.

    "Stop it!" I yelled to myself.  I was glad it was dark out and so late that no one was around to hear me ranting to myself.  My neighbors would all think I'm crazy.  I analyzed my thoughts and feelings.  Why was I trying to find a match for myself?  I knew better than to get involved with someone, especially after what happened at school. The memory brought on a fresh wave of shame.  No, I was better off alone.  "Don't complicate things." I told myself.  "You are here for a fresh start.  Keep things simple, work on your farm." I instructed myself in an almost sing-song chant.  I tried to focus on my new life, but  suddenly, a wave of loneliness washed over me.  My face contorted in agony and a heart wrenching sob escaped my lips.  "What's wrong with me?"  I wailed in anguish to the stars above.  I fell to the ground and curled up into a tight ball, sobbing hysterically.  "Hey, are you all right?" someone asked me.  I hoped they would just go away and let me die in misery, but no such luck.  "C'mon, let me take you to Dr. Hardy." the person said as I felt warm hands on my shoulders.  I opened my eyes and sucked in a breath to tell this person to go to hell.   My angry protests died when I looked into the concerned face of Gustafa. 

Author's Note

Sorry this chapter is so long. There were several different things I needed to get in here, and there wasn't a good break point.

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[Emunah June.]

Oooh~ What a cute little romance that is beginning to blossom.~