Black Snake in the Blue Sky

Would things be different this time?

In high school you were the preppy blonde girl with seemingly wealthy parents well at least wealthier than mine , "so why would a girl like you want anything to do with a burnout like me" Is what I told myself so I could justify naturally avoiding you. I dropped out of school before I got a chance to see how much different you were than the company you kept. I do remember how you glowed with a different kind of radiance maybe it was the smile you had paired to what seemed like confidence to my immediate knowledge of you. You made your way through high sçhool and our paths never crossed again. After several years had passed one day in the middle of a road trip you had reached out to me, you were kind and inviting to speak to even though we were not well acquainted in the past. You told me how you took to the road and had started to live on the street just like I had been for quite some time. Being homesick and craving some much needed welcoming parties I eventually made my way back to Chicago . It just so happened you knew an old friend I was going to stay with and upon my arrival we had met once again for what felt like the first time. I immediately became nervous after falling in love with your beautiful face and I was quite rude to you but I was drinking heavily and my attempt at seeming confident in myself to impress you fell very short. Fate chose to reunite us a few years later under the unfortunate circumstance that we shared the same relationship with drugs. Stories intertwined by a viscious black serpent that has both a constrictive grasp and seductive beauty to it . The perfect poison to feed an empty void of a lonely hearted pair such as you and I , we filled that void with each other and the rest with heroin . With whats left of my bleeding heart i feel a sense of regret that I can not get back that time with you and spend it properly. I cheated you of your feelings to get my fix and leave myself lying broken on this mattress I shouldn't have scared you away from, at least I could have held you instead of pushing you away and not appreciating your company and giving you the love you deserved and maybe we wouldn't have spent such dark nights apart. We argued so much within the walls of the dirty apartment I resided in and everytime you left i had wept tears of regret as I ran to catch you. I cried out and said please just stay with me for one more night and if you still hate me in the morning at least say goodbye so I can hold your memory as I wait around to die.