Free as a bird or dead as a doorknob there is no way out

Another short writing of mine diving into some memories of my puzzling past , depression has not been easy to deal with throughout my life shared with a drug addiction and cronic homelessness

Get me out of this padded cell get me out of this world ! Here I am again lying awake all night with the idea on my mind that my anxiety is keeping me awake . I'm sweating so much that the fear and the pain is locking me down tight and I am trapped in the cold vice grips of my sorrows , too scared to get out of bed I have no good reason to justify the action . Just because I seemingly cannot leave my bed doesn't mean I want to remain tucked in it , Imagining the nightmares that await me in my sleep creates even more fear that circulates my room around this awful mattress . All I can smell is the other lost souls in this place and their decaying sanity , almost nothing smells worse than wasted and lost potential I can smell it on myself every night I remain too weak to get out of this cycle of lying awake all night over and over again . Anger starts to boil my blood and if I could only do anything else at all aside from grinding my teeth than I would turn this whole hospital upside down and show the world I should have NEVER!! Been left behind. Is this where I am going to die? Lost inside my lonely broken life or will I be worse off stuck forever by myself in purgatory . If only I had the strength and the vision to fly away and never look back at the way my story ends ...

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I take it from your preface this is true to what you experienced in real life
The descriptive excellent felt like you were still there and I could see you there

[Brandon Jursich]

Thank you ! This one is especially very true to my experience and straight from the raw of my heart