A Fire to Sweet

I speak to you because you're the only one who can truly understand. How can a man love a woman when he doesn't even love himself? I doom her to the comfort of my wretched soul. I know not how i can help her, but i pray you will. Before i ask of your advice i seek to tell you the circumstances in which i ask you to regard.

    You must understand that i am toxic. I am the very poison that runs through the devils veins. I was damned from the womb. I grew up in a castle doing whatever and whoever i wanted. My father was the king and an ill favored one as well. He was the type of man you didn't want to cross. My mother learned that very quickly. I often went on business trips with him, loved watching what he'd do. I once watched him screw this Russian girl and then kill her in front of her father. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching him rule the kingdom, and i sought after it fiercely. By my seventeenth birthday i had won his favor and was the air to his throne. I owned everyone. I killed for the pleasure and felt no remorse. Don't get me wrong however, i was not a fool prince. No, i was quite the scholar. I could talk my way out any situation. There was one day that i went for a walk through the town. A feeble old hag dropped her bags into the mud just beside me, covering my robe in mud. I turned to her and helped her retrieve her bags. She thanked me and turned away. I then proceeded to follow her home. When she arrived i opened the door for her. She was in shock of my presence, yet again thanked me and invited me in. I was honored. I helped her pack her bags and then announced my leaving. She was such a sweet old women, unfortunately i had just bought that robe. Near sun down i took a stroll back to her home, let myself in the back door, and went to her bedroom. I gently put my hand over her mouth because i didn't want to wake her. Pulling my knife out of my back pocket, i slid the knife into her heart. Feeling satisfied, i washed my knife off and left to return

to the castle.

    Be that, that it may i am not proud of my past self.By the time my father had died and i took the thrown, i was a monster. I no longer recognized the man that looked back at me in the mirror. I saw someone driven by fury, rage, and hatred. It was in these low times that i banished you. The decision ever haunted me to the four corners of the earth. It was after i exiled you that i became a recluse. The light was blinding and my dark soul couldn't bare the sight of it. Sometimes i went to town dressed as a noble to check on my people. On the eve of the new year i felt i should get out, so i went down to the local tavern. It was there that my soul saw the brightest light ever known. She was dancing with some commoner, but with every step she took my life seemed to have more meaning. Her beauty was unparalleled. Her eyes

were like mazes that were impossible to find an exit. She truly shined brighter than the stars. I stepped in and began dancing with her, " Someone of your beauty

surely could do better than him."

She looked me up and down, "And you suppose you're better than him?"  

I quickened our pace, dancing around the room. We moved in sync, every step as if practiced a thousand times over. For those few minutes it was if i wasn't king anymore ,I was here in the moment. Moments don't have strings they're forever changed and  that's what i was dancing with her. I was a moment in time. I spun her around and dipped her in my arms,

" I don't suppose, I know."

She stood up and straightened out her dress. "Well i should be on my way", she said.

"May i have the great fortune of knowing your name?" For some reason i didn't have my usual way with words. No, it seemed as i spoke with her that the man in the mirror found no place here.

"Well surely if you're better than the previous man, you would have known my name seeing that he already knew it." It was then she walked away and out of the tavern showing no interest in knowing me.

No sooner than she exit, i ran over to the drunk dancing with her before. Grabbing the man i asked, " Who was the girl you were dancing with before?"

"I dance with a lot of women my friend", he said drunkenly.

My temper began to build. I hit him over the head with his beer glass, " Answer me you drunken fool! The girl you were dancing with, brown hair, brown eyes, what's her name!?"

"It was Davina Rose! Everyone knows who she is. She's the orphan who sleeps around with a lot of guys. I was just hoping to get it in with her, you know? I mean you no harm." he cowered in fear. It was the same look all men gave me before i killed them. I let him go and returned to my chambers.

To no surprise i slept little that night. Her smell, her face, her voice, all haunted me. I thought of her night till dawn every second. I couldn't understand how i could feel all these things so much with little heart left still beating. I was determined to see her once more.

I returned to town, disguised of course,in search of her. Fortunately her name was well known and i found her. "Good afternoon my lady."

"He returns, how lovely" she said as she turned and walked away.

"Devina is your name, yes? Can i trouble you for dinner later this evening?"

"Trouble is correct, i barely know you sir."

She looked at me with question. I felt like a fool. In any other case i would have killed her for denying me, but i didn't want to. The thought of any sort of pain inflicted upon her made me uneasy. "Please my lady, let this be an opportunity for you to get to know me. I am Ki-...Christopher Roberts and it would be my greatest honor to have dinner with you."

" You seem like a man who has secrets Mr. Roberts, i don't like secrets. Where there's secrets there's lies, and with lies comes nothing but trouble."

"I have no secrets miss, just looking for a good time."

"And do you wish this good time to involve sleeping with me because although many may think it, i am not that woman. Not anymore at least." She began walking

away again.

I grabbed her hand and turned her around, "Miss, i mean you no harm, nor lies, nor secrets. My intentions are pure, but if we should end up together i would not be displeased neither."

"Be at my place at sun down. You seem like a man with resources you can figure out where it is." As she walked away i could not believe where someone like her could have came. So proud and independent.

I returned home in a hurry. I was a mess clothed in rags and smelling like day old fish. I washed up and trimmed my beard. I would wear my best attire and best self. For i was to have dinner with someone worth living for.

When i arrived at her home i felt nothing, but nerves. The feeling was strange and unsettling. I knocked on the door and hoped not to make a fool of myself.

"So you do have many resources, come on in." she spoke as she opened the door.

Her cottage was nothing extravagant, but strangely familiar.I placed my coat on the hook just near the door, "Do you own this house?"

"My mother did, but i own it now. Your clothes look rather expensive, if i were to see you on the street i would think you to be the king", she laughed. Come sit down, we wouldn't want the food to go cold.

"Yes of course. If i may ask how is it you became an orphan?"

"My father died when i was very young, my mother soon after. Obviously you've learned i am an orphan, yet i know very few about you. What is it you do exactly

Mr. Roberts?"

    I coughed a bit not prepared for these questions, "Well i am blacksmith”

   

“How does a blacksmith make as much money as it seems you make looking at your attire?"

"I make weapons for the king. He is very generous to his servants and pays well."

She chuckles, "The king must like you then because he pays little attention to anyone. He is a ruthless,spineless king. He pays attention to no one, but himself and kills anything and everyone that gets in his way." She suddenly became angry.

"Why yes the king is quite awful, but ‘m sure if people got to know him they would see he's a good guy." I tried to reason with her.

`   

Horrified she replies, "He is the worst man on the face of this earth. The devil fears him he is so terrible. He gives no respect to his people and knows nothing of our struggles. His own people steal and sleep on the streets while he sits up in his big castle laughing at us all. Huh, 'good guy' there is nothing good about that man and i pray he gets what's coming."

"I'm sorry i seem to have offended you, please forgive me."

"It's alright, it is not to you i direct my anger." She stood up and took her dish to the sink.

"Let me please." I began to clear the table and stack the dishes. It seems so strange how i can be to different people living in the same body. One, a terrible king and the next, someone willing to do dishes.

"Why is it you are so kind to me? We have only just met and you seem to take such a kindness to me."

She looked at me and suddenly i didn't care if i regretted those words in the morning. I spoke of my heart, one which i thought long gone. "Devina, i know not why i feel the way i do about you. All i know is that when i laid eyes on you it was if the night was no longer dark. You opened my eyes to a part of me i didn't know i had. I feel merely boring in the lights of day, but when i'm with you, there are not enough words to describe my emotions. How i have these feelings so quickly and of such magnitude, i do not know. Maybe they were always there hiding under the surface and you broke them free. They spring forward never to return because i know i will never stop thinking about you."

She stared at me with a look unknown. I simply waited for a response. It was only a few seconds but seemed to be hours. Just looking down into her eyes i waited for a reaction and then she kissed me. I have had many girls, but this kiss made me forget every single one of them. She kissed me as if she invented the word. "Where have you been all my life?"

She pulled away and took a deep breath. Glancing at the clock, "Oh dear, you must go now!"

She pushed me towards the door. " Wait what's wrong why must i leave so urgently?"

"Mary will be back soon, she is the maid who has taken care of me since my mother passed. She doesn't like it when i invite people over, you must go!"

"Devina calm down i will speak with her."

She grabbed my coat and opened the door," No, no you must leave immediate-"

Unfortunately Mary stood just on the other side of the door, "Ahhhh!" she screamed at the sight of me.

"I'm sorry miss, i was just leaving."

She stopped me dead in my tracks. "How dare you enter this house, you monster!"

She hit me repeatedly in the chest. The pain on her face was like no other. Devina grabbed Mary, "Stop stop what are you doing?"

She looked at Devina with horror, "Child, do you know the shame you have put on yourself? This is the King! His poisoned feet walking in this house, your

mothers house! She would be ashamed of you, inviting her killer in her house! What possessed you to do such a thing?"

She looked at me with horror. The same look that everyone gave me when they saw the devil i was. "No, no he can't be!?"

Mary held her from me, "It is, i saw it with my own eyes. It was ten years or so the king comes strolling into town dressed as a noble. He didn't recognize me from when i served as his maid many years ago, but i knew him. Your mother was just leaving town on her way back home when she accidentally bumped into the him. He seemed kind, picked up her bags for her, but returned later that night and killed her. He didn't know i was watching, saw the whole thing from the closet where i hid in fear that he would kill me too. He didn't know you were asleep in the other room and left after he did his bidding."

Mary spit at my feet and pulled Devina away from me. Devina was in shock, tears streaming down her face. "Why!? Why did you do this to me, you monster!? I

knew you were a liar, I wish i never had met you. I hope you burn in hell for the sins you have committed!"

They ran inside and closed the door. I tried to yell for her, but nothing came out. My sins had finally won.

"The monster inside me will never let me be happy. I can not escape my past. Will the voices ever silence? Day and night i dwell in my pain. It seems to be the only thing i can feel. Do you see brother why i am talking to you? I will never be able to fix my mistakes, for they dug my grave a long time ago. I hate myself and love her. The only justice i can bestow upon her would be ending the thing that causes her grief. Brother, i exiled you and every good part of me died. I threw you in this prison in hell and threw away the key hoping never to see you again. I despised you because you were not of my father, but of my mother. He b*****d child living in the same castle as me, i could not have it. Im sorry for the pain i have caused you. It seems as if hell brought forth my birth to bring destruction upon earth. There is no redemption for me. I have written a letter to the castle to have you release on the terms that you kill me right now. Here take my sword."

"Brother i am happy you have come to terms with your wrong doing. I will accept these terms, if that is what you shall choose."

"Yes"

"May you rest in peace"