RendezVous in BlueJeans

 

Bold indeed I found him, when he entered the pub, gave me openly the once over, and ended it with a look that clearly said, "I'm everything you ever wished for, and you're mine now...don't fight it, you're not gonna escape my spell..." His whole appearance, heavenly easy on the eye. He walked with an elegance I had never seen ever before.
Soft and smooth his moves, it literally took my breath away. He wasn't dressed expensively, not at all, just simple, extremely well fitting blue jeans and a white shirt, stunningly accentuating his dark curly hair and beautifully tanned skin. He got his drink, and as if it was the most natural thing on earth, joined the group of friends I was with.

"Hey, shut your trap, or you're gonna catch a fly," my friend Petra nudged me. I only vaguely got aware of her whispered words and forced myself to close my mouth. This stranger, in his mid-thirties, I believed, was soon involved in a vivid discussion with my friends. I had no clue what they were talking about, I only heard his genuinely sounding voice, and inhaled his beguiling fragrance, that lulled me strangely into a wonderful state of peace. Nothing and no-one had ever compared to this man. He was red-hot liquid attraction. No use in fighting it, an unbelievable power pulled me towards him. The purest aura surrounded this being. Everything around me disappeared, there was only he and I, and when he lifted his eyes towards mine, they were filled with utter honesty and deepest truth. And like he'd talk to me through telepathic energy I heard him say, "Let's go to some place more private," slipped his hand into mine, and through the contact of his skin an overwhelming warmth spread throughout my body, enveloping my very core. I couldn't even feel the fresh breeze outside, a myriad of questions with immediate answers invaded my brain... Fear, my gripping companion since childhood, got totally overpowered by purest love, a love so strong, it extinguished every bit of fear in me and conquered my being into the farthest and deepest landscapes of my soul...

 

Two days later people opened the paper, and ...

...

Author's Note

This write was somehow, a little bit inspired by the movie 'Meet Joe Black'. He's Mr Grim Reaper ...

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

Very enjoyable read. I love the way you ended this! It has a nice, romantic tone and the descriptions of the man are clear, making him easy to picture.

"Everything around me disappeared, there was only he and I, and..."
I am not 100% sure about this, but I think it should be "him and me," not "he and I," since the two of you aren't the subject of the sentence.

[emilyart]

Very well worded! Do you have the rest of the story in mind?

[Angel Bird]

Thank you. Yes, please read my author's note, and I believe you'll understand.

[Enigma]

I enjoyed it. Very descriptive and captivating. I googled out the plot of the movie to understand it better though. The piece comes through as a part of that storyline. Very well written. :)

[Sam]

As a poem, this is not very good. There are no stanzas which takes away from the fact that it’s a poem. I know I’ve done the same thing when I was getting into poems myself, but I realized that people in general didn’t care that I was trying to make a point. Without stanzas, I was just an amateur getting into something that I knew nothing about. I think if your poem were in stanzas, it would be much better. If you had advertized it as a story, you would have done just fine. In fact, I think you would have done a lot better, if it were a story or more organized stanzas. Whichever. As for writing quality, you did a great job in description. I think that’s your real strong point with “Rendezvous in blue jeans”.

[...]

You've certainly given a good description of the man, and the woman's attraction to him. Reading it, one almost feels they saw this meeting as it happened. Interesting write and tantalizing ending.

[Krystal Nicole]

I liked it. I loved the way you described the man so he was easy to visualize. Great read!