Immensity

 

 

 

Through Haze of Time

 

Consciousness dissolves

 

Gains Limitless Existence

 

By Depth of Greatness

 

No Gravity restrains

 

Unexpected Wisdom

 

Unfathomable by Matter

 

The Grandeur of Creation

 

 

 

(copyrighted material)

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

While provoking, a think a few fewer capitals would make the capitals hat you do use a little more effective. Why are "no" and "gravity" capitalized but not "restrains" or "dissolves?" It seems like some of these verbs that you're choosing to use are actually more important than some of the nouns you mention, so playing with the capitalization of certain words might positively affect the point that you're trying to get across.

[Aethereal]

If we’re not conscious, then we have no awareness of time, and so the centuries pass by like the flapping of great wings. Given enough time, we are bound by the laws of probability to acquire consciousness once again in a natural way, and then we’re aware of time once again. For the one doing it, going through all of these conscious lifetimes seems continuous. It’s all about perception. We each have a perception of immortality although our memory of past lives may suffer as we start off each new life as a blank slate. There is always the possibility that some of us may be reborn as dinosaurs or roosters. It’s a mystery how our next lifetime is decided. Death is a time machine!

[Sami Khalil]

I felt the immensity and depth of this write...:).............

[Tex]

Very cool write. I read it 4 times before commenting here. Very unusual and captivating write. Very deep piece... thank you for this.

[R J Askew]

Great stuff. It is as you say, and we, little we, are part of it.

[Jazique]

Nice writing deep and very interesting as the concept lies in front of us with life being like a daze as if were still asleep and nonexistence but, nothing can hold us back to which we are and can do even when unable to see. Anyway well written and good verses with depth of meanings in verses. I really can't see much wrong as vocab. excellent and sometime short is better and in this case it applies to well. Also grammar and punctuation are all well so "A" way to go As a writer of this century.

[Desert Dreamer]

I sense a consciousness without a physical body, this poem is like a meditation.

[An owl on the moon]

Love the sense of vastness you create in the atmosphere of your words.. Time and space... all creation... more than we can ever possibly imagine or contain.. Fills me with awe.

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I think it is a very strong message, needing very few words. Great impact with the capitals. ; )

[Angel Bird]

Hi Emily Rose - I capitalized the nouns to give this write a bigger impact, and so to make the statement of substantial monism stand out even more. The first word of each line needs to be capitalized, otherwise the whole line would unconsciously lose enormously of importance to the reader. The prepositions I see as fragile connections between giants here, although their merit in these lines is very significant in conveying the grand message.
Hopefully my explanations help you to understand my point of vue.