I miss my old self!
I miss who I really am
deep down within me
The one I fail to be,
and to show
since all too long now
Don't know if I'll ever
find it again
I probably buried
myself too deep down
within my soul
So there will perhaps
be not time enough
in this lifetime to
dig deep enough to
find at least a piece
of it
Who knows what I'd
find along my way
of digging?
I suppose I'd need to
dig through a lot of
new and old memories.
A painful and hurtful
part it can be
at some places
Also wonderful moments
I'd be lucky to rejoice
in again for sure
Which will make me
smile and happy,
and then sad for they
are over and never
to come back
Where am I?
What can I do to find
myself again?
Should I print out
my portrait on a
'Wanted' form, and
stick it on every
detail within me?
Perhaps there'd be a
soul somewhere deep
down who will recognise
itself and shout out
to me
"Listen, you found me! -
Your lost self! -
Here I am! - Happy you
found me in this turmoil!
Want me to come back?!?"
What then? What am I
to do then?
Should I open up
to its return?
Should I gratefully
accept its offer, and
risk it to disturb my
already somewhat lost
inner peace?
Or could it eventually
settle down my troubled
being?
Although - I have a lot
of time to think about
the right choice to make
There's a long road
to travel to perhaps,
with lots of luck
stumble upon my self one day!
First off, I must compliment you on your first line. "I miss my old self" immediately made me think of "I celebrate myself" (the first line of Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself"), which was a really nice touch. It's very poignant and true - I think we all hope to "stumble upon our selves one day." The use of simple language really helps to get your point across, too - I like that you didn't do anything too elaborate.
I do have two critiques, however: The first quarter of your poem lacks punctuation, and thus it makes it hard to read an decipher. It also makes it feel a little juvenile since you start inserting punctuation later. I like the lost, broken feel in the first few stanzas, but you should recognize that that style is rather confusing for your reader, so you may want to help us out by giving us a few road signs in the form of commas and periods :-) Also, the line breaks seems a bit random at points. Sometimes it looks like you break up a line just for the sake of having it be in congruence with the lengths of the other lines, and that's a little odd. You might want to rework your line breaks for this reason.
Well done - you did a good job expressing a deep, metaphysical concept.
Flawless except instead recognise is spelled recognize. I really liked that poem as you search for yourself as to even go and make a wanted poster to find the person you once knew of yourself. This was a very strong, creative, and emotional poem with all kinds descriptions all around. You did an awesome job and I relate to in so many ways myself hopping one day to stumble upon each little piece of myself one day. Nicely done and keep up the excellent work.
This concept is something I feel that most people forget to consider or are afraid to consider. Your thoughts and words form perfect questions of a "lost self". Well done!
I found so many things that follow right along... in my shadow. This place that I put all that I wished to put behind me, and. It follows right along, anyway! This idea of digging round and what might I find, I thought really interesting. Yet had to go there a few times, for eye openers and old scabs. Painful them ones, yet necessary to the road ahead in that finding myself, hiding from truth. Shades of those choices that shadow, won't let go of. For its own reasons I need ponder, if I'm to survive my fantasies. Reminds me of the Beatles 'Long and Winding Road' (back home) where my heart is...
Always waiting.
This truly fascinated me.. made me wonder how many others ponder who they are.. who they were.. who they may become.. Truly a deep, rich write to make us dance in the light of day.
. wow ... what a beautiful piece of writing ... what a journey ... so inspiring and so poetic in the way it saunters and meanders and searches for answers ... i can so relate to this ... and must thank you ... this is something i really needed to read ... and especially today ...