Dreaming Of Motherhood

Just a poem of what i’ve been feeling.

I dream of being a wife and mother. I dream of motherhood. Dreaming of the challenges and fun of having a life as a mother and wife. I’m very impatient and worried that when I least expect the doctor will say I can’t have my own kids. I’m scared and worried that I might pass away before I get to experience motherhood and married life. I do see many people loving and enjoying motherhood and marriage. A lot of the ones I know are not toxic and still together and think the best thing that happened to them is becoming a mother. I know it is not all joy and easy. I know its good not to rush and that I should enjoy my youth, but I want to experience those challenges and fun that comes with it. And I know this world today might not be the best time to have a family and it might never get better. I know a lot of people out there lost their children. And I know for a fact that if I got a call that there was an accident or a shooting at the school and my kid is no longer here I would be devastated and regret bringing them into this world. I don't want to be scared about it forever. I miss the old days. I like kids and I always dreamed of being a mom. I have always experienced motherhood with a lot of my friends and I enjoyed it. Makes me more excited to have my own kid or kids one day. It also makes it encouraging to have a family. Am I selfish with wanting to experience motherhood and marriage? Am I wrong to want that? Am I cruel?