Helping

a poetic rant from several years ago

How can I write?

What I don’t understand?

Often my sight

Goes as far as my hand

I cannot perceive

When my eyes are shut tight

My heart still believes

That things won’t turn out right

If I start to consider

The things that I feel

Won’t my heart become bitter?

My flesh become steel?

This is reality

All that I’ve known

My speciality:

Leave it alone

I can help others

To fight through their pain

My sisters and brothers

Need me to remain

Full of strength so I’m able

To carry their burdens

Just don’t turn the tables

And put me on your end.

I’m happy right here

Sympathizing with you

My own heart, I can’t hear

Since it’s out of my view

It isn’t important

So why should I care?

I’ll just keep my thoughts shortened

And hear your despair

What good could arise

From baring those wounds?

They’re bandaged all nice

And I’ll visit them soon-

Er, or later, you know?

I could somehow forget

And continue to go

On without fixing it

Emotions aren’t problems

Unless it affects me

So that’s why I stop ‘em

Before it’s unhealthy

Is anything wrong

With this way that I’m living?

Just going along

Simply giving and giving?

I have what I need

At the feet of my King

When I need to retreat

And examine these things

He sits by my side

And He nurtures my heart

And my soul doesn’t hide

As our fellowship starts

He knows all my thoughts

He knows what I feel

And I often do not

But He helps me to heal

So what did I miss?

Isn’t Jesus enough?

He can handle all this

He can deal with this stuff

I’m fine with agreeing

That others need me

But what I’m not seeing

Is how they help me?