Shade...

A marriage, of only one

Lastly, I will stand with my Shade.
Tragedy opened, as a books broken spine, succumbed to needle point astonishment.
Hasn't the fear beating, on the valves wrought sourness. Shade bearing...
Her voice like a poison, positive and possessive. Mastering euphemisms to subdue the minor frailty. Shade boasting.
Albeit the mass for misogamy, she bites the lips hazardous. Entails of a numbers game,short and pleasant. Shade in white.
Hurried about as a training pose, halls built around the last known dreams. Killing back sarcasm her validity screamed, all as touched in worsening minds. Shade undone.
Her past considered a powerful end.
Shade.
How long will you be dying.
-a mind brought of a mind-

Author's Note

A thought on the one sided love in a haste made marriage.

Reviews

[Hearthis]

Okay, I may sound cruel or sharp in this review or criticism, but...

Firstly. don't get me wrong. I do like the poem in terms of its mood, diction, and tone, but I'm having a relatively difficult time understanding the poem itself. It's good that you're using diction to embody the mood well, but what I am seeing is a continuous list of dark descriptions, that while not necessarily bad itself, is, to say, a bit too overwhelming when accumulated all together.

It's okay since this is a poem. A poem can be of any structure or setup. It is only that I cannot find a definite theme that I perhaps am giving negative feedback.

Again, I apologize if my review appears harsh or contradictory, but it is criticism.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like how you used the language to make your point.
"Shade in white.
Hurried about as a training pose, halls built around the last known dreams. Killing back sarcasm her validity screamed, all as touched in worsening minds. Shade undone. "
I enjoyed the complete poem. Above lines stood out for me. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Jamestown]

Wow, powerful and sad! Great write, well said. I have a couple that are similar, my wife and I split after 15 years,
check out cold heart and threw it away,thanks for sharing, im sorry if this piece,
is something your going through, b-blessed!