Killed by The Train

The random feelings of sadness especially in your favorite seat on a hypothetical everyday day train as it compares losing someone dear to the heart.

I've lost the meaning of waking up each morning and I miss you. 

 Those haunting moments, the aesthetic umbrella waiting for an answer 

     like a flower never shedding a petal. 

  Those long streets of windows 

      reflections of a younger me. 

Then breaking up my bones in surreal pits filled with guilt

with regrets as it was a way out of suffering. 

Nowadays I stare at old fashioned waves crashing in different times and in different ways. Everything had the same appeal, nothing different, only the wind kissing my hands as it was meant to keep the cold away. The only warmth I had is now gone.

                               Forgetting wings forgiving pain 

     writing the pain away in layers of smoke 

                          blur my eyes when I need to see, not feel anymore. 

       Give me a real reason to want to die and not live for it. 

          I only know the rain never screams but sometimes I believe it does tapping the windows in unsteady reverence, I only know pain seeking my strength for battles left ahead and I point. 

                Stillness fills the air 

     As everyday hits me like a train. 

       

                               

Author's Note

what does it mean to you

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

This poem evokes feelings in me. Losing someone special can crush you. The impact like meeting a train head on. I reflected on my losses and relived them again and was reminded of really uncomfortable moments. You took me on a journey that I don't want to do again. That's good poetry for you.

Chris

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I appreciate the kind words and thoughtful review. Yes losses are difficult yet you never get over it just keep riding the train of life.

[John the Baptist]

Looking out from the window of a train or bus is indeed conducive to reverie. Here the speaker broods on a loss as he watches the "long streets of memories" go by. Many of the symptoms of bereavement are churned up by the memories that unfold, guilt, loneliness, pain and uncertainty about the future. This one is beautifully written, with image after image revealing the depths of the speaker's pain. The last two lines are especially evocative. We wonder if he will ever be able to put this loss behind him.

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Deep respects to you dear friend. I appreciate the thoughtful review :)

[.]

The first line of your poem described the pain exactly the same way one can experience losing someone very near to heart... It's a void, an incessant pain that lingers and crush our world. Yes that train of pain mowed down our feelings our everyday life.... It's touchy and very sad to me

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I appreciate your review and I always somehow always focus on the sentimentality of life. Thanks for stopping by

[.]

It was a nice read... Thanks for sharing