Killed by The Train

The random feelings of sadness especially in your favorite seat on a hypothetical everyday day train as it compares losing someone dear to the heart.

I've lost the meaning of waking up each morning and I miss you. 

 Those haunting moments, the aesthetic umbrella waiting for an answer 

     like a flower never shedding a petal. 

  Those long streets of windows 

      reflections of a younger me. 

Then breaking up my bones in surreal pits filled with guilt

with regrets as it was a way out of suffering. 

Nowadays I stare at old fashioned waves crashing in different times and in different ways. Everything had the same appeal, nothing different, only the wind kissing my hands as it was meant to keep the cold away. The only warmth I had is now gone.

                               Forgetting wings forgiving pain 

     writing the pain away in layers of smoke 

                          blur my eyes when I need to see, not feel anymore. 

       Give me a real reason to want to die and not live for it. 

          I only know the rain never screams but sometimes I believe it does tapping the windows in unsteady reverence, I only know pain seeking my strength for battles left ahead and I point. 

                Stillness fills the air 

     As everyday hits me like a train. 

       

                               

Author's Note

what does it mean to you

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

This poem evokes feelings in me. Losing someone special can crush you. The impact like meeting a train head on. I reflected on my losses and relived them again and was reminded of really uncomfortable moments. You took me on a journey that I don't want to do again. That's good poetry for you.

Chris

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I appreciate the kind words and thoughtful review. Yes losses are difficult yet you never get over it just keep riding the train of life.

[Just Kim]

emotions, a lot of vivid emotions through out. I can sense hurt, with the rain that eases it or buries it, nicely written and expressed....

You're very talented.. I like your style

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Yes hurt indeed, Thanks for your kind words and I sincerely appreciate it.

[Chris]

To me...

Comes a time when there IS no home to come home to... and that feeling of loss and lost is real. We invest our selves in life as we try best to live it. And nothing is fair nor forever ...except the missing at the end.

[Cherrie]

What an ending powerful and strong. Your poem has it all love, regret, pain, and sorrow. It oozes with heaviness. Excellent work and use of emotion.

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Thanks for stopping by and giving me compliments :) My soul is heavy which is poetry is heavily needed for humanity.

[Paul Bell]

I suppose the train symbolizes moving forward.
It's like life hits you smack on the head, but you still have to move on.
Maybe this is not a bad thing, every station is reflection but you still have to keep going.

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I appreciate the review. Thanks for stopping by

[Jimmy Yetts]

The longer you live, the more you lose.
Devastating is the loss portrayed.
The stranded lover dies daily.
Impactful poetry, Andrew!

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Beautiful review thanks for stopping by :)

[mou]

First of all, I love the emerging of 'title' from poem's soil. You mentioned it only once (at the end) but it feels beautiful to reflect upon the title after reading it. Second, every word is so alive and straight from the heart (my favourite).
Repentance is really a haunting chapter. Sometimes, it becomes so weighty on future (or on an outlet from the past, at least). HEART TOUCHING WRITE! Love it.
mou.

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Thank you for your review but I really appreciate bringing certain aspects of my poem to light. For example, the title makes the writer feel accomplished when you got your readers feeling the title too and how it relates :) . Thanks again

[mou]

You're welcome, friend :)

[poetgurl]

Your first stanza, has me pondering... oh but in a good way!
I am sitting here thinking about my past now.
This is a very well written write, enjoyed

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I'm glad and its funny we are supposed to live our lives forward but it only makes sense when one is looking back.

[poetgurl]

we usually look at our hardships instead of the good. Why our brain works that way I don't know. We should be grateful.. I guess, I don't know, I just think too much....

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Because we became to self aware.. awareness is a view of reality free from ideas and judgments. It is clearly impossible to define and write down what it reveals

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

First of all, comparing life to a train ride is amazing. Roller coasters seem to be more common user in relationship to life, but a train ride really makes the experience settle into our hearts whereas a roller coaster ride goes over our head due to the high level of intensity. We would have no concept of the past if it wasn't for memory, which is something to think about when compared to our curiosity about the future which it's longing for something or someone no longer with us that gives birth at times to imagination or its close cousin the future. Many times many make the past their future and their present seems to go backwards instead of forward. We know the past. We don't know the future. I got this from your poem a lot. Maybe it's just me but I really enjoyed reading this. Tyfs

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

I was really concerned with beauty how it's hidden at times when one's looking back instead of forward. It's easy to get stuck in life on philosophy, pain, love, the mechanism of the world. Times are always changing as Bob Dylan sings it. I appreciate your review gave enlightenment to my poem how shining light on some meanings brings more to it than what's already in the picture . Thanks for stopping by :)

[Re-Pete]

good analogy, perhaps too good. it can feel like we've been run over by one barreling at us. we feel like things are out of control. those who are dear to us bring meaning to our lives. such a loss kills a part of us.

this verse hit me especially hard -

Those haunting moments, the aesthetic umbrella waiting for an answer
like a flower never shedding a petal.
Those long streets of windows
reflections of a younger me.

the last verse is hard-hitting as well -

Stillness fills the air
As everyday hits me like a train.

it has that helpless deer in the headlights feel.

ugh, deeply depressing, uncomfortable read beyond sad ... :)

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Thanks I thought of trains and was feeling melancholy that raw emotion that you let run wild late at night that usually comes out in my writing. Very sentimental of the nuances of life. Thanks for stopping by always appreciate the nice reviews :)

[barleygirl]

This is exquisite writing! I love how you speak of losing someone to death & it sounds like NOTHING ELSE I've ever read (hard to be this original on a topic that's written about by millions!) I think I've had a bit of a struggle reading your abstract writing but this is not that at all. There's an abstract quality in that you always think way outside the dots in wildly expressive ways, but everything comes together to paint an intensely portrayed sense of oppressive loss. I haven't read you too much, as I recall, but this is a stand-out favorite from what I've read of you so far (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

As always Its a pleasure reading your insights and review. I do have a weird style of writing haha but thanks for stopping by :)