Amnesia

Written for Clifford's Contest because bless you Clifford. http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Short-Story/54568/

The truth that he was alone was more than Harvey could take in at first.

Confused, he shivered as the wind howled around him.

He cupped his hands to his mouth.

“Hellooooooooooo!?"

"Anybody!?”.

‘OOooo OOOoo OOooo Eeee Eeee Eeee’

Nothing but echoes.

Harvey’s eyes darted over the debris and his hands pressed against his temples.

Must. Think.

He crouched, his chest heaving as he picked up a child’s pacifier and turned it over in his hand.

Must. Think.

A flicker of recognition sent Harvey lumbering forward.

He stared at the calendar with it’s bold numbers and many scribbles.

“Oh, that’s right,” he muttered, “Wife 'n' kids gone outta town for the weekend.”

 

 

 

Author's Note

I am aware that this probably has a million grammatical errors. Feel free to help me out because I'm terrible at knowing when to hit enter. :P
Thanks y'all.

Reviews

[Agyani]

Hi

Your story hits the mark on multiple levels. The title puts the reader in a mindset where we expect something like the protagonist struggling to understand his situation and fumbling to put things in place. While the opening fell in place with that mindset, you turned it on its head and left me with a smile (It's so refreshing to see your story emphasizing your profile quote!).

The piece was really short, but you've ensured it's succinct. That's a great achievement!

[Jacob Clifford]

Why, I'm honored! I, and everyone else, love when you post new writings, so I'm thrilled my little contest resulted in this tale being created. Just as always, you have a way of playing with atmosphere and reader expectations to make the final twist really hit home. I felt bad for Harvey in the beginning, thinking some terrible thing has happened, and my heart skipped a beat when he picked up the pacifier, but then the goofiness with the echoing and the "Must. Think." prepared me for a more light-hearted ending. I'm glad the sad sap is just forgetful (aren't all husbands?) and hasn't been exposed to something terrible. . . or has he? I could be overthinking things, but the copious scribbling on the calander leads me to think Harvey has chronic amnesia and it negatively impacts his and his family's lives. His wife knew he would forget, so she put up reminders for him.

As always, I loved reading your story. Bless you, Andronicus.

[Lorry]

Could be amnesia or could be just that he is a he and we don’t listen. Or is that just me? Nope! It’s us all. 

[Hannah]

I really like this. I like the quirky writing style, and that twist at the end is awesome! And I only noticed one grammatical error. In the second to last line. You have "It's" instead of "its". Because inanimate objects have to make grammar rules complicated :)

[PaintedBirdy]

i always feel excited to read your new stories. i love them all. you're incredible. I'm gonna start a Andronicus fan club :) it'll just be gossip and hype, lol.

[.]

Everyday amnesia! Something that affects us all from time to time.

This story reminds me of when I am writing a poem and I find myself hopelessly trying to remember the spelling of the simplest of words; those moments when the mind just goes blank and one's IQ seemingly drops 50 points. For poor Harvey it must have been the silence of an empty house that induced his amnesic state. It happens!

Not sure what Clifford's contest evolves, but your story is free of grammatical error from where I stand and your final line, as always, adds that nice little twist to your write. Another clever little one and the comrades of the Revolution salute you!

[Stan Lee]

Good point. Should prolly include the link to the contest. Hang on a minute comrade :)

[Stan Lee]

Comrade! Thank you, thank you! I salute the comrades and thank you for the review. Glad it passes the grammar test and the twist has to be nice today. Enough scary sad stuff already. Only nice twists allowed :) Thank you Thank you Doodley.

[.]

I see it. Short story. A bit beyond my focus at present. I hope you have been well, comrade. No doubt hitting those books again, i imagine.

[Stan Lee]

(to hitting the books) Unfortunately, yes. :P

Hope you're well too. :)

[.]

I am doing well. Easter soon. And for me that means.......Eggs!;)

[Zoya]

Lol. That does remind me of someone.
Nothing wrong with the enter-ing business here, nor any grammatical error.
A neat, short story. Nicely executed!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Zoe. :)

[Zoya]

You are welcome