It was a hot sunny weekend in January when the bodies
started to wash ashore. Jayne gave out a stifled exclamation when she saw the
first.
"No! Buddy! Back off!" She yelled at her dog as he
sniffed and pawed.
Shading her eyes, she looked up and down the deserted beach
as though expecting someone to appear but of course nobody did. She and Buddy
were the only inhabitants of the island. That's if you didn't count the rabbits
that pilfered the vegetable patch no matter how many traps Jayne lay.
The mainlanders thought isolation had turned Jayne mad. Maybe
they were right, thought Jayne as she leaned down to examine the man. She
prodded it with her finger, almost not believing that it was there. Blank eyes
stared up at her. Jayne could feel something rising within her. A desire she
had not felt for many years.
She twisted the figure into sitting position, moving it's
stiff arms and legs. Running her fingers across its face revealed a stubbled
chin. With a small grin, Jayne twisted its head stiffly on its neck, right
around, until it's face stared unnaturally backward like an owl. She laughed.
"You found treasure!" Jayne called to Buddy. "Let's
take it back to the cottage."
But Buddy was barking
and pawing at something else now. Jayne hurried over.
It was another one.
All in all, they found eight men that weekend. They lay
in Jayne's cottage where she had twisted and bent all their limbs. They were
her treasure. Hers and Buddy's. She scratched at Buddy's head between the ears.
"I wonder what the tide will bring us next," Jayne
mumbled. "Maybe a shipment of bricks will wash up next so we can build houses
for these Lego men."
I really should have known that the twist that I thought was the twist, wouldn't be the twist. Then I thought that maybe the teist would be you went all walking dead on me, but of course, that wasnt the twist.
I pictured you at the end of this story, laughing like the cheshire cat. I seriously doubt anyone guessed that twist. :)
Loved it. But then again, I am a bit twisted.
You are such a clever, imaginative writer of short stories.. why aren't you famous!!! From start to finish i was intrigued in a gaspy gutchoked way! However the crispy meandering of Jayne and her pal, Buddy, moved me on and on til the tale was finished almost too quickly.. not a criticism.. quite the opposite.
Do you pre-plan before writing or do the words fall into your mind.. just interested? Brilliant language, fine form, fluid wordage.. and clever, clever.
At first glance I find this very creepy - I guess I've interpreted the story from a dark perspective. I thought Jayne has twisted the limbs and head of REAL bodies, and called them Lego men because she treated them as her toy. Only when I started reading the comments and I got the twist in this twisted story :) Well played, Andronicus!
P.S. What is the true meaning of the title? Twisted bodies, twisted Lego men, or twisted plot?
This was fun and creepy...but more fun than creepy. Loved it. Well done: compact, concise and complete.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thanks for your review Carol. I'm glad you found it complete. I thought so, but not everyone gets it.. read moreThanks for your review Carol. I'm glad you found it complete. I thought so, but not everyone gets it. Glad you found it more fun than creepy too. :)
oh wow holy s**t, that took a big turn.
At first, it is disgusting and morbid, scary and twisted, and then all of a sudden it turns lighthearted and funny, when the "men " turn into legos! I was very confused, and unsure what this "treasure" was at first, but I love this story of yours!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your review peyton. I'm glad you enjoyed the lighthearted twist. :) I appreciate .. read moreThanks so much for your review peyton. I'm glad you enjoyed the lighthearted twist. :) I appreciate your comments.
I love that morbid feel and that texture that is a highlight of our own isolation and the lego reference. I think you've created, no, given birth to a character any reader can relate to.
I am a fan of not only tales involving dead but play on words to, I love how you've incoporated 'Twisted' for multiple meanings. You my friend are getting not only my applause but 100 on your rating.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your enthusiastic response to this story. I'm not entirely sure I should be ha.. read moreThank you so much for your enthusiastic response to this story. I'm not entirely sure I should be happy that you can relate to this kinda crazy character but I am glad you're a fan. :)
Lego is a registered trademark Andronicus so you really should include the little ® beside the brand.
Nahh!! Just kidding...I said that after reading the Pirate poem !! lol
I liked taking this literally and seeing her twist the limbs of shipwrecked cadavers - kind of like Robinson Crusoe meets Norman Bates.
Great idea - well executed - just class!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Lol, you're right. Hopefully they wont sue me when the story becomes famous and makes me millions. :.. read moreLol, you're right. Hopefully they wont sue me when the story becomes famous and makes me millions. :D Thanks a lot for your review Tony.
I've turned RRs off for now because I'm really behind. I have 50 to do! Hope to get to them... eventually :)
“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; ho.. more..