They called him Rooster. And only he was stupid enough not
to realise that they called him Rooster because was because he was a c**k. A
rude, arrogant c**k. But Rooster had money. And you know as surely as it says in
the holy book, the rich man hath many friends. Especially if the rich man
throws his money around. (It doesn't actually say that last bit, but it's still
true). Either rooster knew this instinctively or he just loved throwing
parties. Because he did, a lot. And he would always serve caviar and pineapple
jelly. It was an odd combination but rich people are generally eccentric, so you
or I wouldn't give it more than a thought. If you're a reporter for a tabloid
however, you don't need dirt. Just the smell of dust will do. There were all sorts
of theories to justify Roosters odd tastes. They ranged from spiritual healing
to madness from calcium poisoning. However special note must go to a reporter named
Crater who wrote up a brilliant article with passion and fervour. He claimed he
knew exactly why Rooster always served caviar and pineapple jelly. His article
was titled, "Rooster is Sponge Bob
Reincarnated!"