"Write about The Abominable Snowman"

Writing prompt from MondaineGarcon

The abominable snow man was having a crap day. Mainly because he couldn't. This was due to two ugly reasons. 1. He was constipated and 2. He tried to poop as little as possible in case somebody saw it and tried, yet again, to prove that abominable snowmen exist.

"Well this is crap," he said to his best friend Snowy. Snowy was a snowman. Not an abominable one but one of the regular kind with two stones for eyes, and just like a regular snowman, he didn't reply. "Dang it," muttered the abominable snowman, "I knew I should have named you Frosty."

It wasn't the first time the abominable snowman had muttered this but it was remarkable because for once the abominable snowman's tiny brain whirred and he had an idea. "I have an idea" he said to snowy, "I'll make another snowman and call it frosty"

The abominable snowman quickly patted and rolled together another regular snowman. This time as he poked in the stone eyes he declared, "your name is frosty!" Nothing happened at first so the abominable snowman poked it once more and yelled, "Frosty the snowman is a jolly happy soul."  Suddenly Frosty came to life and began and laugh and play! "It's a Christmas miracle!" the abominable snowman cried with glee.

The abominable snowman wasn't the smartest chip of the doritos bag but it didn't take him long to realise that having a laughing, playing snowman isn't the best way to keep out of sight.

"Stop laughing Frosty!" pleaded the abominable snowman. "You're abominable! No wait, I am. Oh oh! My whole life is an existential crisis!"

While the abominable snowman was having a meltdown and dripping tears everywhere it didn't notice that Frosty's maniacal laughter had attracted some unwelcome attention.

"So you DO exist" said a surprised voice. The abominable snowman whirled around. There was a young girl staring at him. The abominable snowman froze in shock.

"Hey! Chill!" said the girl.

"Woe is me cried the abominable snowman. I suppose you're going to capture me and lock me up for scientists to examine until I die?"
The girl laughed, "Nope. I'm Elsie. I wouldn't take you captive. My cousin is princess Elsa of Eragon and you know what her catch phrase is."

The abominable snowman shrugged. "What do you want?" he asked.

"I'm from the snowman protection committee and I've been searching for you. You weren't easy to find, I'll give you that. I've come with a proposal. We can relocate you to a place with other snowmen where people will never bother you again."

"Where?" questioned the abominable snowman.

"We call it the iceblock," said Elsie.

"Sounds okay," said the abominable snowman hesitantly, "but I don't want to take that manic laughing snowman."

"That could be a problem," said Elsie concerned. "Unless... What is its name?"

"Frosty," replied the abominable snowman.

"Ah, then we should be okay to leave him behind. Frosties melt easily. He'll be gone in a few days."

"Yahoo!" said the abominable snowman. He quickly packed his woolly mammoth trunk and left for the iceblock immediately.

The abominable snowman lived happily ever after in the ice block. He adopted princess Elsa's catchphrase of Let it Go and never had a crap day again.

Author's Note

Just a bit of waffle trying to clear the cobwebs... :P
Thanks for reading :) Thanks for any feedback

Reviews

[Octavia]

Ridiculous and fun. Thanks for the smile.

[Stan Lee]

Glad it made you smile. Thanks for reading :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

ha....nice tale......you have a couple of typos though....on line four you say...but not an abominable one but one of the regular kind....ONE TOO MANY BUTS in my opinion
Line 12
Suddenly Frosty came to live.....should be came to LIFE.....Ha.....gotcha!!!!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Dr. I agree with you. Thanks for reading and pointing these things out. :)

[Tony Jordan]

You know how writers cure constipation don't you Andrea..? They work it out with a pencil xDD
This is spot on creatively and very funny.
I could read skits like this all day.
Well done :))

[Stan Lee]

Hey Tony, it makes more sense than the mathematicians who work it out with a calculator. :P Thanks for your read and review. I'm glad you liked it.

[Tony Jordan]

A calculator !! Ouch !!
Are you speaking from experience - lmao
Welcome my friend :D

[Shannon]

Clever. Poop and pop culture references abound.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading S.Mi. Yay for poop references :)

[matrixmark]

I like this take on the abominable snowman. The first paragrph was hilarious. Snowy his mate was cool. Just to have a vision of 2 snowmen talking was very funny.
The commitee bit, funny as it was - was again a good use of your imagination.

Let it go....lmfao,

Mark.

[Stan Lee]

Hey Mark, Glad I made you laugh. Thanks for reading and leaving this kind review. :)