"Write about The Abominable Snowman"

Writing prompt from MondaineGarcon

The abominable snow man was having a crap day. Mainly because he couldn't. This was due to two ugly reasons. 1. He was constipated and 2. He tried to poop as little as possible in case somebody saw it and tried, yet again, to prove that abominable snowmen exist.

"Well this is crap," he said to his best friend Snowy. Snowy was a snowman. Not an abominable one but one of the regular kind with two stones for eyes, and just like a regular snowman, he didn't reply. "Dang it," muttered the abominable snowman, "I knew I should have named you Frosty."

It wasn't the first time the abominable snowman had muttered this but it was remarkable because for once the abominable snowman's tiny brain whirred and he had an idea. "I have an idea" he said to snowy, "I'll make another snowman and call it frosty"

The abominable snowman quickly patted and rolled together another regular snowman. This time as he poked in the stone eyes he declared, "your name is frosty!" Nothing happened at first so the abominable snowman poked it once more and yelled, "Frosty the snowman is a jolly happy soul."  Suddenly Frosty came to life and began and laugh and play! "It's a Christmas miracle!" the abominable snowman cried with glee.

The abominable snowman wasn't the smartest chip of the doritos bag but it didn't take him long to realise that having a laughing, playing snowman isn't the best way to keep out of sight.

"Stop laughing Frosty!" pleaded the abominable snowman. "You're abominable! No wait, I am. Oh oh! My whole life is an existential crisis!"

While the abominable snowman was having a meltdown and dripping tears everywhere it didn't notice that Frosty's maniacal laughter had attracted some unwelcome attention.

"So you DO exist" said a surprised voice. The abominable snowman whirled around. There was a young girl staring at him. The abominable snowman froze in shock.

"Hey! Chill!" said the girl.

"Woe is me cried the abominable snowman. I suppose you're going to capture me and lock me up for scientists to examine until I die?"
The girl laughed, "Nope. I'm Elsie. I wouldn't take you captive. My cousin is princess Elsa of Eragon and you know what her catch phrase is."

The abominable snowman shrugged. "What do you want?" he asked.

"I'm from the snowman protection committee and I've been searching for you. You weren't easy to find, I'll give you that. I've come with a proposal. We can relocate you to a place with other snowmen where people will never bother you again."

"Where?" questioned the abominable snowman.

"We call it the iceblock," said Elsie.

"Sounds okay," said the abominable snowman hesitantly, "but I don't want to take that manic laughing snowman."

"That could be a problem," said Elsie concerned. "Unless... What is its name?"

"Frosty," replied the abominable snowman.

"Ah, then we should be okay to leave him behind. Frosties melt easily. He'll be gone in a few days."

"Yahoo!" said the abominable snowman. He quickly packed his woolly mammoth trunk and left for the iceblock immediately.

The abominable snowman lived happily ever after in the ice block. He adopted princess Elsa's catchphrase of Let it Go and never had a crap day again.

Author's Note

Just a bit of waffle trying to clear the cobwebs... :P
Thanks for reading :) Thanks for any feedback

Reviews

[Beccy]

Just found this, and what a timely read it is.

So very entertaining from first line to last.

Beccy.

PS. merry Christmas to you and yours.

[Hannah]

I love the quirky descriptions, and I love all the references. If this was written to "clear the cobwebs", than you did a very good job. This story is very enjoyable.

[Carol Cashes]

Translation for Ugly American: "...a bit of a waffle".?

This was fantastical and confirmed my fangirl status. Understand the "girl" part is wishful thinkin' on my part, but hey! A "girl" can dream, eh?

[Stan Lee]

Waffle like guff, rambling, gabbling etc. I think a lot more people can relate to Elsa than anyone imagined. Thanks for the read & review. :)

[PaintedBirdy]

so glad i found this! amazing, Andronicus!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Mondaine :)

[APOORVA]

good one :)
thanks for sharing this craft

[Stan Lee]

Thank you for your read & review :)

[Chip Murison]

Clearing the cobwebs is good fun. Getting those juices flowing. And in the end takes a crap. What more can you ask for in a story? I feel a bit bad for frosty though.... but eh, who need him. He was a pain. Let him melt in hell. :-)

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading and reviewing Chip :) Don't worry about Frosty. He seems to resurface every year from about October to December! :P

[.]

Hehehe. This was interesting!

I enjoyed the story and your references to "Frozen". And believe it or not when i was a kid, "Frosty the Snowman" was my favourite Christmas cartoon. It always made me sad when he melted!

This was a very original short story, ending as always, with a very clever conclusion. Nicely written, Andronicus. I hope you have been well.

[Stan Lee]

Dooooooodley! Viv la Doodley! :) Thanks so much for dropping by to read and review. I'm glad you liked it. I've been well. Hope you have too. We must catch up. Lots to tell :)

[.]

I am well. Working away as always. :)

[Tbear]

Awww this was such a nice break...i was a bit bored, growing tired while scrolling and critting...you really do have a great talent ...may you have many many publications!!!!!! write on..

[Stan Lee]

So nice of you to say so. :) Thanks for reading & reviewing.

[Lorry]

As we all should :)
Love it....especially the "Oh oh! My whole life is an existential crisis!", that line cracked me up.
Now all I gotta do is let go of all the crap and I'll be sorted. Thanks for the advice :)

[Stan Lee]

Yes! Spot on Nemo! Glad you get the message! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Happy you could get a laugh out of the abominable snowman's existential crisis! :D

[Lorry]

I am so looking forward to saying that to someone :)

[Stan Lee]

That your whole life is an existential crisis?

[Lorry]

Yes, preferably when someone asks me if I want cake or biscuit :)

[Stan Lee]

okay :) let me know how it goes

[Jacob Clifford]

It's good to get the shenanigans out of our systems every once in a while. Quirky, strange story. Exactly as it should be.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading and reviewing Clifford. Glad it wasn't toooo quirky and strange for you. :)