Just the usual

Working behind the bar

"Why are your hands shaking?" asks the new guy as I push his beer across the counter.
I shrug and smile at him while mentally ticking the "original pick up line" box.
Been working at the bar three years. Thought I'd heard them all.
Glance down at my hands. They are shaking. Look back up at him and he's still kinda staring at me. Cute.
So I lean in, so he can hear over the hubbub. "Honestly... I've just been scrubbing dishes... So hard my hands start shaking..."
We share a laugh.
"Now tell me," I say with a tiny smirk. "Why are your hands shaking?"

Author's Note

Thanks for your constructive criticism

Reviews

[Woody]

your stories are shrinking before the reader's eyes but that's ok. that proves you're becoming so good at telling short stories that soon you'll be displaying a blank page and having the reader in stitches.

of course I had to come up with something different from the other reviews :) but I really like this. unique style. don't spell it out to the reader! let the bugger use their brain, right?

[Stan Lee]

Oh thank you Woody. Only you could turn this terrible scourge into something to laugh about. Thanks for reading & leaving encouraging feedback. :)

[Dara]

Touche!! I love the way the girl came back at his remark. I think it would fascinating to tend bar. Think of all the different types of people you would run into. I love your writing style.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Dara. I appreciate your read & review. Glad you like it. :)

[A.C. Jones]

haha! that was really good. I can actually picture this interaction

[Stan Lee]

Good to know. Thanks for reading :)

[Tony Jordan]

I like the story and how you told it. No problems filling in the gaps at all Andronicus - but our guy - for me - he's a little too c**k-sure to like. She sounds adorable.
:)

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Tony. That's really nice of you to say so. I'm glad you liked it. Why do you think the guy is a little cocky? :)

[Tony Jordan]

I think he lacks a vulnerability - she is totally vulnerable - she's at work - she's stressed - he's pointing out a foible without even knowing her story - I mean she could have a medical condition. I guess i got into her shoes too much A.
Don't heed me.

[Tony Jordan]

What if he'd watched her all night and her hands only shook when he spoke to her?

[Stan Lee]

That's true. I hadn't really thought of that. I think he's just awkward and not very good at pick up lines :)

[Tony Jordan]

He doesn't seem awkward though. He seems like a typical bar shark. What if he spilled the beer and they knocked heads while simultaneously trying to clean the mess - he'd be as lovable as her.

[Tony Jordan]

Andronicus Im sorry. I know nothing about writing stories. I can be an opinionated arse at times.

[Stan Lee]

I think he really likes her :) but that's me
And it's quite okay. I'm interesting in your ideas too :)

[PaintedBirdy]

so he was washing dishes too? that's why they'd be good together?? i don't understand. there is too much left unsaid in this story, Andronicus! :p

[Stan Lee]

Oh Mondaine, I didnt think it would be that hard to figure! His hands are shaking cz he likes her. Some guys get nervous around girls they like. :) Clifford got it...

[PaintedBirdy]

i think it would be cute if they washed the dishes together, then held shaky hands together :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Cute! The little nuances make this story come alive. The left-unsaid information lets the reader fill in the context of their relationship. And that ending is brilliant!

[Stan Lee]

Left-unaid is something I really like to do it seems :) I'm glad you managed to fill in the gaps & that you liked the ending. Thanks for your review Clifford!

[Stan Lee]

*Left-unsaid

[Stan Lee]

(should that technically be left-un-said?) hmmmm
*thinking face*

[Stan Lee]

prolly not ... it just looks weird :)

[Captain Rilen]

It's funny how much the small details can tell us about a person. Good work!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading & reviewing Captain! :) Glad you liked it.

[Shannon]

I love leaning in close to tell him washing dishes. I am imagining this as a great 'how we met' story in their future.

Very carefully crafted.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading and for leaving a review. I like what you're imagining :) Yes, it was crafted :P idk how you can always tell. You're a smart reader!