Potty Humour

*Read the last two sentences out loud*

Jane is not a tuckshop mum. Though, she tells herself, she definitely would be were it not for the time restraints of having a full time job. Nonetheless she tries to be as supportive of her children’s education as possible which is why, when her son came home from school one afternoon with an alarming report, she had to take action. It went something like this.

 

 

Little Johnny came bouncing out from school one afternoon, his hat all skewiff and his shoelaces undone as per norm.

 

“How was school today Johnny?” Jane asked, taking his backpack and heading toward the car.

 

“Was okay,” he replied skipping a little to keep up, “but that big bully Marty Farty broke my sandcastle.” 

 

“Don’t say that Johnny. Even if he is mean to you, it’s no excuse to use potty language.”

 

“Our teacher says potty language,” Johnny said, pulling open the car door with both hands and climbing in.

 

“Mr Smith?”

 

“No we had a different teacher today.” Johnny giggled. “He said a naughty word and then he said pardon my French.”

 

“What did he say?” asked Jane, feeling concerned.

 

Johnny just giggled and covered his mouth with his hands. He giggled and giggled. The more he giggled the more Jane was concerned, until finally, she made up her  mind to give the school a call.

 

A receptionist answered and Jane got straight to the point.  “My child Johnny Lastname had a substitute teacher today. I am concerned that he has been using bad language in front of the children.”

 

“What did he say?”

 

“I didn’t ask my child to repeat it,” snapped Jane crossly. “But it was followed by ‘pardon my French’ and my child was quite shocked.”  

“Perhaps you should talk to the substitute. His name is Mr Lewis and I’m sure he can explain.”

 

Jane was further irritated by a crackly dial tone, until the call was picked up again.

 

"Is that Mr Lewis?" she barked, getting ready to rage.

"Oui Oui!" came the thickly accented reply."Oh, pardon my French!” He chuckled, "The children seem to enjoy it though.”

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please say you got it!?

Appreciate any constructive criticism on how to make this work better!! Title? Tense? Anything?
Thanks for your feedback folks!
And thanks to everyone who has helped with this thus far!
:)

Reviews

[Anorien Isilme]

LOL This was cute, I will be recommending a friend of mine to read this. She comes to me with jokes all the time that resemble this kind of comedy. :) Lovely little creative story you've got here.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks so much Anorien. It's wonderful having you being such a fan of my work! Thanks for reading, reviewing AND sharing. :)

[mattavelli]

Hello, Andronicus! :)
I enjoyed your story. Your descriptions of the characters' behavior are nicely written in. The twist is corny-funny, my kind of humor. In line 1: "restrains", I read as "restraints".

[Stan Lee]

Oh! Thank goodness for your sharp eyes Matt. Thanks for pointing out the error. I'll fix that up. I'm really glad you liked my story & the corny twist! :)

[1VJ]

Oui, oui je l'ai eu, très mignon et drôle. I used a French translator. :)

[Stan Lee]

Merci Paloma! :)

[Chip Murison]

Really good! Totally agree with Woody. Great attention to detail. Also - the emphasis on oui oui would be good as well. Excellent job!

[Stan Lee]

Oui, oui! I totally agree with Woody's suggestion. Have done some editing & it should be better now!! Thank you very much for your review Chip! :)

[Woody]

the picture you summon in the reader's mind is so natural and real. and I love that.
opening the door with both hands looks banal on first sight but damn! that's how little kids open a car door. sweet picture. covering the mouth when giggling is another one. you take particular care with the details, the little things. that's the sign of a great writer, says I.
of course I got the ending. he could also have said (for emphasis) "oui oui!"
another good little one, Andronicus.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you!!! Great suggestion!!!!! I think that will Do the trick. Will edit soon

[Stan Lee]

Woody! My hugest, biggest, most sincere thanks goes to you! I have edited the story as per your suggestion and a few other minor changes to (hopefully) make it flow easier. Thanks for making the punch line twice as punchy!! :D Really appreciate that.
I'm glad you liked the details & thanks again for your kind & generous review. Merci Woody!! :)

[Woody]

the pleasure's all mine Dear :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I got it! Potty language because "oui" and pardon my French because ... yes, quite clever.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Clifford! I'm glad you got it. The story has undergone a few changes & hopefully reads a little more smoothly now. I appreciate you taking the time to read & comment. :)