Closing Time

Short Short Story

 

Outside it was dusk. Inside, there was a muffled sound of footsteps; a single set of footsteps; making their way down a long corridor. Those footsteps belonged to an elderly gentleman. Bright little spotlights gleamed down on his suit and they flashed off his bald head as he turned a corner, beheld a woman and there came to a stop.

"Good evening beautiful!" He chirped. "We meet yet again."

She gave him a mysterious smile. Almost a smirk; but her eyes never wavered from his. The gentleman stood back clasping his hands before him and regarded her with warmth.

"You have a beautiful smile," he told her softly. "I only wish that you would speak to me and tell me what is going on behind that smile of yours."

There was a silent, mysterious, adoration between the two and they considered one another for quite some time in this fashion.

Presently the gentleman began to murmur quietly.

"I come and speak to you every evening and yet you never speak back. Your eyes follow me everywhere I go. I think you have a secret young lady and I would love to know what it is."

Gazing at her face, he stroked at his chin thoughtfully. "One day I'd like to know what that secret is..."

The gentleman finally turned away and ambled back down the hall, jingling a bunch of keys on a chain.

The lights went out. There was complete darkness in the art gallery and Mona Lisa remained silent; smiling to herself.

Author's Note

Appreciate ANY feedback :)

(no, really!)

Reviews

[Steve Clark]

What a great twist! Loved it! Well crafted, Andronicus!

[Stan Lee]

Glad you loved it Stephen. Thanks for your review.

[veck]

Such a great short story. I really loved how despite the writing being so short, you were able to convey such an intriguing piece of literature to your audience! "Mona Lisa remained silent; smiling to herself." Awesome work! Well done, hats off to you. Feel free to check out my writing :)

[Stan Lee]

Thanks a lot veck. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Very glad that you liked it and found it intriguing. Most of my stories are very short. Tbh it's because I don't have the patience to write anything much longer! :)

[Laura Almeida]

I love the twists! very nice scene construction
Way to go !

[Stan Lee]

Thank you very much Laura. :)

[R.Guy Behringer]

This is an excellent example of a great short story. I loved the imagery as well. Great job Andronicus.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Mr Barringer. :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave such a kind review. Glad you liked it! :)

[LastMonth]

Oooooohh.

You got me.
Awesome twist.
Did not see that coming in a million years,
Well written and the ending was superb.

A very satisfying story.

[Stan Lee]

Yesssssssssssssss! *punches the air* I am so so so happy to hear that. :) That's the best feedback I could ever hear! *victory dance* Thank you LM! Thank you! Thank you! :)

[Kat]

I really like it. It was clever and very interesting!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Kat. :)

[gummi391]

Wow, that was amazing!! I have no criticism. I knew there was a twist coming but I wasn't expecting that! It really flowed and was easy to read. Short but sweet, I like it :)

[Stan Lee]

Thank you so much gummi! That is really kind of you. I'm glad you liked it and thanks again for reading and reviewing. :)

[Shannon]

Nice twist. I was expecting something truly dark. My brain...
Why the mature label?

[Stan Lee]

That's a mistake, oops.

[Stan Lee]

Sorry about that. :) Fixed now. I can understand why you were expecting something darker with the erroneous label. Glad you liked the twist. Thanks for reviewing. :)

[Shannon]

I still would have expected a little darker, it's a great ending!